An Object of Beauty: Getting to Grips With Self Love

I read this cartoon (left) on Facebook yesterday morning. It made me smile.

Of course it simplifies the Body Hate issue somewhat, but I don’t feel it diminishes the message: you wouldn’t starve, verbally abuse or overfeed a pet, would you? So why is it okay to do it to yourself?

Since Self Love is something I have been halfheartedly working towards for the last few months, something about this strip sticks. Plus the simple issue of general Body Standards and how absolutely no woman can win, no matter who she is.

This topic, for me, is a hard one. It’s hard to admit that you are starting to despise parts of yourself, or to admit that the view you have of yourself is out of control; that you feel like The Blob on your very worst days and would happily stay indoors until you have enough strength to fake some confidence.

It’s hard when you read a lot of blogs by so-called ‘plus size’ women (yuk to that phrase) who inspire every day and you know – you know they are right – that we must say fuck off to this unrealistic standard of beauty. Yet, we still beat ourselves up, don’t we?

My relationship with myself is full of contradiction, as most women’s doubtless are. I am happy to be bigger than most of my female friends, yet I’m not happy being *this big*But then, the smaller I get and more I see positive results, the more critical I get of myself. Then there’s the self-sabotage and the panic that I will lose who I am, if I lose the things that make me Me.

Where the fuck does it end? (Spoiler alert: I don’t think it does).

Anyway, this is not all woah is me. I’m here to talk about how I am going to handle my shit. How I propose to start loving myself.

Clue: I’m going to start treating my body like a puppy!

It’s going to be this simple: I will eat good things, but also cake when I feel like it. I will walk everywhere as much as possible. I will ignore that horrible bitchy voice within that tells me I’m a monster.

I will stop comparing myself to others, because that will never end well. I will get on with life, go out. See people.

When it all gets too much, and I find myself throwing insults at the mirror, I am going to remind myself that if my body was an animal, would I speak to it this way? Would I speak to another human being in this fashion? And would I accept it, if someone spoke to me like that? Probably not, so I’m not going to accept this behaviour from myself either.

It stops today!

So what do you do to make yourself feel better when you’re not feeling your best? I’d be interested to know any and all techniques!

 

4 thoughts on “An Object of Beauty: Getting to Grips With Self Love

  1. When I’m feeling really crappy I tend to look at my pinterest boards – I have collected lots of art and stuff and things I can just LOOK at and drift away on and realise that there is so much more in this world I should be looking at. Walking around a gallery does the same – looking at beauty and horror and talent makes me completely forget what I was worrying about. It can be so hard sometimes though to even get up and out.

    Having just moved up to Aberdeen and without a day job to go to, I have plenty of time to sit around thinking about myself, so I’m currently having to make really sure I don’t sit focusing on nonsense and getting into a cycle of crap.

    I have to say that having started doing yoga 3 or 4 times a week (just using an app on my iPad so i don’t have to go into the Compare Zone of a class) has made me feel really good. It’s great to have an hour, half an hour, or just 15 minutes where I ALLOW all thoughts to piss off. I feel really calm afterwards, it’s great. Of course, it’s also benefited my body as well – but what I REALLY like is that people (especially my mum) have said “You look stronger”, not “Have you lost weight?”. I just carry myself a little better I think….xx

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  2. I very much enjoy the idea of yoga, and have actually been eyeing a small school that is situated just parallel to my work, so you have something there I am sure. I love that it is making you feel that way, and yes stronger is something to strive for, rather that “You look soooo thin!”. I will let you know if I start going!

    I am also a fan of beautiful works of art and I think my reading has intensified of late for this very reason. Not so much as to forget about the things that trouble me, but to remind myself that there are things I aspire to and am good at (like writing myself), and that I will do. My next post is going to be a little bit about this and doing scary things for the rewards you get from them.

    Thank you as always for your understanding. You are a class act and I would love to hang out with you. One day, eh? x

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