I’ve been watching a lot of Dexter this month (and last, there are like, 8 friggin’ seasons) and it’s churned up a lot of thoughts in my head. Not all of them plot or character related, either.
Relax, I’ll leave off the spoilers as much as possible. I’m just thinking about trust.
Isn’t it a risky thing, trusting somebody with your heart; even your life? Now hopefully, none of us live with a secret serial killer and will never have to deal with the fall out of discovering that someone you love has a very dark side, but on a base level trusting another human is such a massive risk; yet is such an important thing to have. It’s a wonder we do it at all.
But trust we must until trust is broken, or maybe it won’t be. That’s all we can do otherwise what’s the point? It’s all too easy not to and I get it, have always got it until I met someone who redefined the word for me. Old boyfriends have not been kind, however nice they have seemed, taking my notion of trust and breaking it to pieces like dry Weetabix.
Suspicious websites, over friendly text messages, upfront and unabashed cheating; nights spent waiting for them to roll home. And when they didn’t, those moments making that empty bed with a heart as chilly as the side that hadn’t been slept in.
I get trust issues, I get the need to prove your unease right no matter what. But I also get that in the end enough has to be enough or you will never grow and never be able to love fully. My thought for the day.
I’m not going to be all happy clappy about how I finally learnt to trust (it was a long distance affair so all the red flags should have been flapping), all I know is that the old adage love like you’ve never been hurt before actually has some merit. All trust is a risk, and to risk it all is to gain the most.
But back to Dexter. (Spoiler alert!) Along the way, bad but not really all that bad guy Dexter has been stabbing people up, occasionally befriending people who have come to know his quirks. He learns through a series of relationships to start trusting certain people with the truth of who he is. That’s another way to consider the concept of faith in others.
If you relate trust to friendship, which is just as important as a relationship relationship, that’s scary too, right? I mean, I have an unhealthy addiction to Shaggy songs, it’s never easy to reveal that to a new person. How can you trust that your new friends, old friends, colleagues and the old lady you see every morning at the bus stop are going to continue to find you pleasant once you start letting your real self be known?
You just have to, or don’t, it’s really up to us all as individuals. Haters are always going to hate. Like Dita once said (apparently): “You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there’s still going to be someone who hates peaches.”
It’s important to realise that if someone doesn’t like you, that’s up to them. If they cheat on you or think it’s acceptable to hurt you, essentially it is their problem. This is easier said than realised, easy to say with a click of the Ghetto fabulous finger but I chose to trust because that’s all I have.
Trust and be trusted, it works both ways.
What do you think? Can you and do you love without thinking about your past upsets or are you closely guarded? Is it all just a myth?