After spending quite a lot of time away from home with family over the Christmas period, it was really lovely to be back in our own flat. I’ve talked about being a homebody before and this is never truer than in the Winter months when it’s cold and wet outside, and my sofa is willing to hold me while I watch Netflix.
But this is not a post about home comforts, it is a post about warpaint, or lack thereof. On returning home on the 27th, I half-arsedly unpacked my fluffy cat shaped travel bag, only to find that my make-up bag wasn’t there. No need to panic, I thought, it’s obviously in my handbag, where it normally lives.
Why I was expecting to find it in my luggage, I don’t know. Except, it wasn’t in my handbag either…
Not that long ago, this discovery would have send me into a tailspin, or at least straight to the nearest make-up selling establishment. I did send a text immediately to my mother, suspecting that it had fallen into the boot of her car (it had) but then I really started to think about make up and why I needed it so much.
I came up with this. I need it because I love and want it. I don’t need it because I can’t conceive of leaving the house without it. This is not something I would ever have been able to do a decade, even five, three, two years ago but now I can and do.
There is a freedom in being able to operate without having to think about your face, it’s true and weekends are usually spend bare-faced and slouchy. I like the feeling of being fresh and clean. I don’t run from people I know should I bump into them in the street.
But, and here’s the big but (tee hee); I love make up and really enjoy wearing it. When people describe it as warpaint, I know exactly what they mean. I’m just not myself without my signature liner (even when I’ve fucked it right up).
That can never be a bad thing as far as I’m concerned, knowing what works for you and which bits you love, therefore want to play up. It’s not vanity to want to present the best of yourself. Plus, for me, it’s about ritual and I have a pretty non-negotiable one:
Wake up at 7am
Hula hoop in front of the TV for 30 minutes
Do make up with a cup of tea
Watch about 20 minutes of bad TV (I live ten minutes from work)
Leave for the day
My make up applying session is the only time I really spend with myself. It’s just about the only time in the day that I really look at myself and I think it’s important.
I mean, I wear glasses all the time and I love how cute (and smart!) they look but I do miss my face. I haven’t really shown it to the world without specs for two years and on the rare occasion that I have been caught off guard without them, I’ve been complimented on my eyes or make up, and that feels bloody great. Like I’m no longer invisible.
Woah is me!
My point is, make up to me is very much ingrained into my life. The relationship I have with it is now so much healthier than it was. I suffered horrible adult acne for a long period and it made me feel very bad about myself, leading me onto a merry-go-round of awful blending, cement-like cover up and always, always the wrong shade of foundation. Which made it look worst and fed my skin the bad stuff, thus making it much worse.
Thankfully, I grew out of it and no longer feel the need to cake myself. Better skin has allowed me the luxury of trying new things and concentrating on the assets I do like. Now I love a highlighter, a subtle gloss and eyes, eyes, eyes!
So, in conclusion, I’ve spent seven days without make up (well I found some cover up and mixed it with moisturiser to create a tinted base – go me!), and I’ve deliberately done so, just to see how it goes.
I have ordered new make up online, which should arrive next week but I haven’t rushed to slap it on my face. I’m cool with the minimal look because I’m cool with me – even if I cannot bloody wait to put my face on again!
As for the spectacle situation, I’ve ventured out on several nights out recently sans nerd glasses (or discreetly slipped into my clutch) and I’ve worn the shit out of the smokey eye. And felt like a fucking rock star, baby!
Who needs to see anyway?!