An Open Letter to a Jerk

Dear Body Snarker,

This will no doubt pass you by as, predictably, women you don’t want to sleep with rarely appear on your radar. You will be perfectly civil when we meet in the flesh because society expects at least that from you and I’m connected to someone you know but beyond that I am nothing to you. Thankfully.

I’m not writing this to change your mind or opinions, if you’re content with who you are then I’m happy for you. I don’t feel the need to run down other people to make myself feel better and consciously make an effort to let people do them, while I do me. I guess that’s the main difference between us.

I want to be absolutely clear that I am not a booby prize. You seem to think, while you’re treading water between relationships with the women you deserve, that you’ll have your pick of less discerning women e.g. bigger, fatter women (your way of putting it is far cruder).

I’m not sure if you’re aware of this but let me break it down. The notion that ‘fat chicks’ try harder in bed or are less fussy because they are desperate is an outdated and frankly embarrassing (and untrue) assumption. How fucking dare you suggest it? I sincerely doubt this supposed hotbed of chubby, ‘slutty’ women are just kicking their feet waiting for you to click your fingers. Know why? They’re living their lives, having actual relationships and hopefully spending time with partners/friends that don’t make them feel like they’re not good enough.

Fat women are women, just like the ‘under an ideal weight’ ones you favour. All women are real women, whatever their size, hair colour, sexual preference, etc. You see? It’s really easy.

You might have a type and I get it. I’m a beard lover 4 lyfe but I don’t go around throwing shade and thinking of bare chinned boys as substandard human beings. I don’t think that baby-faced chaps are automatically less valuable than anyone else, despite the fact they don’t fit my ‘ideal’. Anyway, I’m not here to change your mind about that; who you find desirable is honestly the very last thing on my mind.

All I want is for you to never talk like you did about dating women to anyone else ever again, least of all the person who loves me. If you think what you think, just do me a favour and keep it to yourself. If possible, please just bury it deep forever.

I’m a fat woman. Chubby. Voluptuous. Curvy. Whatever word you choose to describe a plus-size body. I don’t care. I’m fat and I’m not a booby prize. I’m not and never have been sitting around waiting for someone like you to pick me. Most women aren’t, if you can believe that. Fat women go out and meet people all the time, are loved and love themselves too. I know, it’s fucking shocking, isn’t it?

I can’t wait for you to find this all out for yourself when you’re sitting home alone, weeping softly into your Paleo meal for one. I can’t wait for you to discover that the one thing stopping you from finding the love you so crave is your personality. Work on that for a while and I am sure things will change.

Won’t that be nice?

Kindest regards,

A Voluptuous Girl

13 thoughts on “An Open Letter to a Jerk

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