#avoluptuouslove · #radicalselflove · A Voluptuous Mind

Nicely Does It

If I had a pound for every time a person implies, or straight up tells me that I’m toobeing_nice_is_cool_by_tallis-d7h69fz nice, I’d have about enough to have plastic surgery to look like Tom Hardy’s dog and I could be leading a very nice double life as we speak (sorry for the odd imagery). Point is, I get told this a lot and every time I just hear the same thing: You’re not good enough.

OF COURSE this isn’t what people always mean, but for the most part* what they do mean is that they think I should be more like them and I call bullshit on the whole thing.

I’ll be nice if I want to, I will trust people if I want to and you know what? If I don’t want to tear a strip off someone for whatever reason, then I won’t. This isn’t a weak characteristic and I won’t stand for it. The next person who says it is going to see how ‘firm’ I can be, when I stab them in the leg with my Biro.

And breath…

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This blog post has been hovering around in my head for a long time, since the last time the same comment came up and now I’m just peeved enough to tap it out.

Since when has this characteristic become so frowned upon? Am I allowing people to walk all over me and take me for granted? Not the last time I checked. Am I meek and scared to do what’s right? I don’t think so.

Course there are ways to deal with things, I’m not about to fling myself into my boss’ office and bend his ear about all the things I want in life. There are boundaries. But this is who I am, I do things my way because this is me.

I don’t want to give the wrong impression here. When I talk about being nice, I don’t mean pure and angelic, obviously. I can be a monster, and I’m often snappy – I can sulk with the best of them.

I’m working on being a better individual, with more tolerance for all sorts of people. I’m learning if I don’t like something, just to walk away from it.

I’m just a big fan of a good and happy, simple life and of picking the right battles. It’s an ongoing project.

I like to absorb situations and learn about people so I can deal with them accordingly. I’m not a bolshy person and furthermore, I probably never will be.

I like the idea of being Catwoman but in life, I’m more Selina Kyle (maybe a little less down trodden, not as cute).

We’re not all destined to be in the spotlight. Some people choose a different way to live and I don’t believe that makes them any less valuable. The world needs people to direct, produce, paint the scenery and write the lines. These are important jobs too.

So the next time someone tells you’re too nice, ignore them. Or if you ever feel the need to say it to someone else, maybe think about your words. Better still, don’t say anything at all.

Nice people know what they’re doing and they’re people too.

*This probably isn’t about you, if you’re reading this.

4 thoughts on “Nicely Does It

  1. I totally agree with this. I’ve been called ‘too nice’ in a work situation before and it really annoyed me. Like you say, being nice doesn’t mean I’m a pushover or that I can’t stand up for myself or be firm with someone when it’s necessary. It just means I prefer to speak to people, and treat people, with respect as I expect to be treated by others. I would much rather be seen as too nice than too horrible – is that what we’re suppose to want – is that cool? The only people who think there are things to gain by being horrible are not very nice people in my opinion. Why would you want to make someone else feel bad on purpose? I think that’s a pretty sad way to live your life.

    Faye x
    http://www.iwishicouldwink.com

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks so much for commenting, Faye. Glad it’s not me. I wrote this in a bit of a rage but am still a little annoyed! I’ve decided to prove you can get as good a result from being respectful, than being blunt. Glad us nice people exist, you need a good balance, right? Thank lovely xoxo

      Like

  2. I get this so much and I completely agree. But I know myself, and I know which battles I’m gonna fight and which I’m gonna let fly right past me, because they are really not a big deal. I find that when I do have strong objections to make, they’re all the more considered and listened to for their rarity.
    Continue being nice, there’s not enough of it around I don’t think. 🙂 xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Exactly, HM. I’m glad you get me. And I agree with your point, when we take the time to put our foot down with firm but polite argument, people tend to listen. Go us!

      And again, you’re right, there are a lot of awful people out there too! Big love, gorgeous xoxo

      Like

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