Anger

The other day someone (a dude) asked me why women are so pissed off these days. Instead of punching him in throat and screaming “Because of you motherfuckers!!”, I took a breath and told him to look around him. Predictably I didn’t finish my sentence before my piece was derailed by a #notallmen remark and I’m quite certain none of my points got through his thick skull. Doesn’t mean I won’t keep trying though.

I feel like I’m angry all the time these days. Angry I have to get a bus home after dark for fear of walking home alone, angry I can’t finish a sentence without being interrupted. Angry every time I pick up a paper or log onto Twitter and read another story about another man abusing his position. Angry for every one of the women I know who has a #metoo story.

I’m pissed about all my own experiences. For the time a man told me he could rape me if he wanted to outside Sydney bus station when I was 20. For being followed home more than once but most recently in my own sleepy hometown. For last Christmas when a stranger grabbed my arse at our works do and squeezed it really fucking hard, like it was his right.

I’m angry for all the times my nasty ex told me I was lucky he wasn’t the type to hit a woman. For all the times he told me I needed psychiatric help and my mother agreed with him (she didn’t obviously but he wanted me to believe she did, as if they were in cahoots. As if). And for the time he bullied me into going topless on the beach in Barcelona and simultaneously poisoned my memory of that beautiful city.

Most of all I’m fucking furious he made me hate and blame myself for letting it happen, and for making me question my place on this earth.

I don’t hate men but they make me angry. Of course not all fucking men but every single man has a responsibility to be better and that is a fact. They might not directly hurt women but laughing when their friend makes a Harvey Weinstein joke is part of the problem (and so much more besides). We can all be better and I know I’m not perfect either. I’ve turned a blind eye many times in the past just so I don’t come off as a rabid feminist killjoy.

No more. I will be better and so will the men in my life. I demand it.

What are you angry about today?

3 thoughts on “Anger

  1. I’m angry that with all the #metoo going on, and all the #notallmen going on, that we’re not hearing from the guys who admit they actually do this stuff. Hey, it’s pervasive in our society, isn’t it? Doesn’t that make it okay? What are you so scared of that you won’t admit you do the things that make women uncomfortable because society let you get away with it for centuries/millennia? I’m not hearing a word defending this behavior, so I can assume men know it’s wrong today, but that toxic masculinity “makes them do it.” Well, why don’t they say it, then?
    I’d like to hear from a man that does these things, that doesn’t give excuses and say #notallmen. And i want to hear his justification for keeping it alive. Because when you know most women will object to what you’re doing, I want them to admit why they do it instead of ducking into another quiet corner to make a joke their guy friends will laugh at while saying #notallmen.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Right? So so true. I’d be far more inclined to forgive if a men held their hands up and admitted there is no excuse. No more “It was 30 years ago”, “I was drunk”, “I’m sorry YOU feel that way”… you do these things and we live in fear. Why? Well said and thanks for commenting x

      Like

  2. “Let’s Generalize About Men” is my new anthem, I swear to god.
    I’m so tired of the not all men excuse. You know what? Yes, all men, in the sense that having this toxic ultra-masculine ideal is damaging to everyone. The disconnect from reality is just staggering to me. Be better, humans, but especially you, men.
    I’m also selfishly angry I never watched House of Cards and now I never will. Goddamnit.

    Liked by 1 person

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