Final Girl (Film) Review

Week 2 of Films That Remind Us of Each Other and Jill chose this. Which I was kind of excited about – my girl gets me.

Men suck and some even more than others. Predatory men for instance, which is all too topical at the moment. That makes this an interesting pick for reasons beyond me being into the Final Girl Trope. But is it good though? Find out below!

*Spoilers*

Final Girl (2015)

IMDB Synopsis

A man teaches a young woman how to become a complete weapon. Later she is approached by a group of sadistic teens who kill blonde women for unknown reasons. The hunting season begins.

My Review

Veronica is five when her parents pass away. It’s at this age that she meets a mysterious (creepy) man called William. When he questions her about their deaths, her pragmatic approach impresses him. When she displays total recall memory skills during a couple of tests, he recruits her for a special project for a special person. He also reveals that his own family were killed by a Very Bad Man, which one would assume is his raison d’être though it is never mentioned again so who knows, eh?

It’s all very enigmatic (and creepy, did I say creepy?).

Fast forward 12 years and Veronica is now a young woman with an impressive collection of prom style dresses. She’s also in love with William but we’ll come back to that later (boy will we). There are a handful of training montages which are somewhat satisfying as I live for a training montage.

We witness several hardcore exercises William puts his protégé through in order to mold her into the ultimate killing machine. In the last test, he injects her with a truth serum/DMT cocktail that reveals her darkest fears. Her nightmare turns out to be letting down William by not being good enough. Aw and also Grrr.

MV5BZmMwNTU4OWYtMTMzMy00NzAzLWFlNzctMTNhNjc3ZWNkYmFiXkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyNTQ4ODA2NzQ@._V1_SX1777_CR0,0,1777,755_AL_

Training to be a Badass 101: How to look good in questionable headgear

Done with training and finally ready for action, William and Veronica rock up in a small town where some teenage turds have been ‘hunting’ women in the woods. You may wonder how the fuck they know this is going down but let’s suspend our disbelief for the sake of this review for a moment.

Before we go into all that though, I need to mention the icky atmosphere between V and William. In a hotel room before the action gets started, V asks if she can lie on the bed next to him (she’s wearing a towel, he’s being all brooding). William says no until he begrudgingly (but with little persuasion) says yes and might I remind everyone that that the girl was five when they first met.

WEIRD and FUCKING CREEPY.

Back in small town America, and gang ringleader Jameson and his fuckhead buddies Daniel, Nelson and Shane are luring pretty blond girls into the woods and then hunting them down. Each of these heinous douche bags are literally the worst and you will hate them with the fire of a thousand suns and it’s okay – they won’t last long.

Veronica, predictably, goes down like pizza on a Monday night with the boys and arranges a date with Jameson for the following evening. He tells her to wash her hair and wear red lipstick. How she refrains from stabbing him in the neck right here is beyond me.

V also finds time to meet Shane’s girlfriend at the diner, a sad brunette who she really seems to bond with. The two discuss love and relationships over vanilla milkshakes. Alas, this might be a film with a Girl Power-esque message but, apart from a very brief chat between the two women,  Veronica never interacts with any other live female (maybe a waitress). I wish that had been different.

captura-de-tela-2015-08-25-c3a0s-18-46-30

Toot toot, all aboard the dickhead mobile!

Anyway, the rest you can imagine, I’m sure. Veronica is driven out to the woods by Jameson and his dick swinging pals and even though she knows full well what they have planned for her, it is very uncomfortable to watch. I felt protective of V despite the fact I already knew she could kill a man with her bare hands – these bastards!

Once the group gets to the woods, they play Truth or Dare and enjoy a beverage, thoughtfully provided by V. Jameson refrains from partaking as designated driver. T&D is a tiresome affair with no surprises – but after a couple of rounds the real games begin.

One by one the tables are turned on each of the boys, as it becomes clear they’ve ingested the very concoction Veronica herself has previously taken (SHOCKER). Each of their worst nightmares come to life and it doesn’t end well for any of them. They have underestimated the power of a small blond girl and that is their ultimate downfall. Oooooooooh!

abigail-bresline-final-girl-03

Axe yourself if this is where you want to be on a Saturday night, V

Until the very final battle between V and Jameson, there is very little to note about these scenes. It looks pretty, as does V but it’s a very by the numbers ‘thriller’ without the thrills. As Veronica and Jameson square up to each other for the climactic scene, it seems each has met their match.

Will Veronica complete her mission and get justice for all the dead girls, despite this not really seeming to be her main objective? Or will she join the ghosts of the deceased right there in the woods?

You know what to do.

What’s black & white and creepy all over?

My Thoughts

I really did find the so-called sexual tension between William and Veronica weird. Although William didn’t make moves on her, he definitely didn’t put up barriers between them and that’s icky. In the final scene (*Spoiler*) it feels like something shifts between them, suggesting that they do move their relationship forward. EW.

Everything that he has done to her over the years, the robbing her of a fucking childhood and life of her own is repugnant and at no point do I truly believe in either of them. If it had been for something, some dramatic yet justified cause then maybe, but it is not enough for them just to be adopting the vigilante lifestyle because they lost people once. V lost her parents in sad but a non-suspicious way, while William alludes to the bad man but never elaborates on it ever again. So I’m at a loss to understand or care about their motivations.

It’s a misogynistic film that tries to pull out the strong female lead card which is all well and good, but not really when she’s been groomed from such an early age to be just some dude’s machine. Like Jill said in a message to me, it would of been good if she’d turned around and killed William, finally freeing herself. I’d have been pleased if she’d followed that by running off with Jennifer, the girl from the diner truth be told.

The film itself is nice looking but the plot is so full of holes I can’t take it seriously. It’s deeply disappointing as in the right hands, under the right circumstances this premise could’ve been great. I can’t look beyond the cringe of it all.

Abigail Breslin was okay but not great. And that’s about it.

FUCK THE FUCKING PATRIACHY

My Rating

2.5/5. Nope. Not much to write home about.

What did my Final Girl Jillian think of this one? Would she chase it through the woods or kicks everyone’s arse to save it? Find out here, yo.

2 thoughts on “Final Girl (Film) Review

  1. YES, Veronica and Jennifer forever! Jennifer had waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay more chemistry with V and, more’s the point, wasn’t a weird pseudo-father figure who was far beyond an age-appropriate match for her.
    This film prob didn’t deserve to be ripped to shreds b/c it honestly wasn’t the worst–and I didn’t even mention the visuals of the film with all of the dark shadows and dramatic lighting (which yes, do work well). However, I just couldn’t get over how much I hated William and the way the film tried to portray him as having noble intentions. Like I think I hated him more than the teen boys somehow???
    Someone should’ve commissioned us for the screenplay on this one b/c it would’ve been 10,000x better in our hands. Except if you’re William, I guess.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s