A Voluptuous Advent: Doors 1-4

The last couple of years in December I have posted a daily affirmation every day to make myself feel better during the festive period.

This year I’ve decided to do A Voluptuous Advent instead – which will pretty much be exactly the same thing, except labelled differently because I’m cunning like that. Since I’m already four days behind, you’re getting them all in one post because I’m thrifty like that.

Every day, behind each door, I will reveal something Christmassy, be it something I feel, something I’ve eaten, something I’ve watched. It could be literally anything…


Door #1 – Tradition

I’m finding it hard getting into the festive spirit this year.

All the stress we’ve experienced over the last twelve months probably has a lot to do with it and honestly, I’m knackered. Christmas tradition will have to come second place to eating and watching animated movies this year. Which is kind of a tradition in itself if you think about it.

When I think about Christmas I often lament the loss of some of the traditions we used to have. When we were kids, nobody was that thrilled with the annual trek to our grandparents’ lovely but cold home on Christmas mornings, though it was fun exploring the surprisingly well maintained garden and making up stories about secret passages in the spare bedrooms.

However, the reality of our Christmas’ was being regularly told off for putting our elbows on the table, a shootable offence in Gramps’ eyes.

Once we were old enough to swerve that particular engagement, the day was hosted at mum’s instead. Nana and Gramps would still come but they would leave at 2pm, while the pudding was still smouldering (arrival would be 11am sharp, while dinner HAD to be served on the dot of 1pm).

We loved them but breathed a sigh of relief as soon as the front door closed behind them. Pajamas would go on or we’d fly out of the house as fast as our little legs could carry us, eager to be reunited with best friends, having been parted for less than 24 hours. Later, when the grandparents were all but gone and I finally had a dining table of my own, Glynn and I started to host it at our tiny shabby chic flat.

Now I roast a giant turkey and give it a topical name while stressing about timings and forgetting the stuffing. I get sweary in the kitchen but there’s really no need. Sometimes the odd stray might join us for lunch, other times it’s just us four (mum, me, Glynn and my step son if we’re lucky) and there are no rules.

We eat with gay abandon whenever the fuck the meal is ready, our elbows akimbo. Sometimes we watch the Queen’s speech, sometimes we forget but all in all it’s a cosy few days of excess and I couldn’t love it more.

I do sometimes miss the thrill of driving home for Christmas. I miss my grandparents for all their niggles and having all our cousins, aunts and uncles around us. I miss my brother who very rarely features on the big day these days (always before or after though). This year we’ll be missing my mother in law who we never really saw on Christmas Day but who was always there in spirit, calling Glynn pissed from wherever she was, whoever she was with.

I guess all of that is all right with me. At least we get to be together, as much as possible and the room is filled with love and laughter. That’s the main thing and it works for us.

Do you have any Christmas traditions? 🎄🎄🎄


Door #2 – Elf

Christmas can officially begin one I’ve seen Elf*. It’s the law.

“We elves try to stick to the four main food groups: candy, candy canes, candy corns, and syrup.” ~ Buddy 

Me too, Bud. Me too.

*See also Home Alone/Die Hard/Love Actually/The Holiday. Oh god, The Holiday!


Door #3 – The Disaster Artist

Okay so this isn’t strictly Christmassy but I genuinely can’t wait for this movie.

The Room is fairly new to my life but like most people, I find something about it extremely endearing. I’m even more enamored with Greg Sestero’s The Disaster Artist: My Life Inside The Room, the Greatest Bad Movie Ever Made, a behind-the-scenes account of the making of the film. It’s also Greg’s memoir about ‘making it’ in Hollywood and one of the funniest books I’ve ever read.


Door #4 – Mince Pies

Pudding with every single meal, yo.

How are you guys feeling about the festive period? ❄️☃️🌬

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