Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life – Thoughts

enjoy-14

It seems like you can’t move an inch without bumping into a Gilmore Girls Reunion hot take at the moment and I’m afraid it’s not going to be any different round these parts. Not today. For today I tell you exactly what I thought!

There will be *spoilers* because they’re unavoidable, so please do tread carefully if you’re not up-to-date yet. I’d hate to be the one to ruin anything for you. If you’re a GG fan, you need to experience the magic first hand.

*Seriously though, MASSIVE SPOILERS*

gettyimages-72734253
“Rory? You’ve got red on you.”

First Thoughts

We open (if I’m remembering it correctly) with Lorelai and Rory walking swiftly through Stars Hollow. Rory, it appears, is a very busy globetrotter now and is only passing through. Based on what Lorelai says about the Stars Hollow tour, Rory hasn’t been back for a while. It’s Winter and that can only mean one thing. Does Lorelai smell snow? Yes she does.

The dialogue is as fast-paced as ever but this time it’s peppered with current pop culture references and it’s kind of weird. The speed at which the girls speak is like machine gun fire and it’s cheesy as hell but I just do not care, this is going to be amazing. So magical and comforting. Pass the goddamn hot chocolate.

Rory has a boyfriend, and it’s not one of the (un)holy trinity! His name is Paul and everyone but everyone forgets him the instant they meet him. Even Rory keeps leaving him places. They’ve been dating two years, though they only see each other rarely because of her busy schedule. Lorelai and Luke are still together and that’s all grand and great and all, but where’s Emily?

Emily! 😦 She looks so tiny and sad, and she is sad of course because Richard is no more and will I ever stop crying? The gargantuan portrait of him in her drawing room is amazing, leave her alone Lorelai! Bants between mother and daughter (Emily and Lorelai) is extra frosty in the opening episode and we soon find out why, via a flashback to Richard’s funeral. Oh GOD here come the tears again!

Significant information about Rory: she’s had an article published in the New Yorker! And she also has lots of logs on the fire (or whatever her manic self-assuring phrase is). You get the impression that not everything is kicking off the way this girl thought they would and that’s shit, and all too identifiable. Though I’ve never had the drive and ambition of Rory Gilmore. I’m more Paul Anka (the dog) than Rory Gilmore, let’s face it. Anyway, this is all so cheesy and reference-y but I literally DGAF!

Let’s move this a long a little, as we have 6 hours to get through and I can’t break it all down.

GILMORE GIRLS
Emily really could not abide clashing floral prints, or sofas.

The Best Bits

Emily and everything Emily thinks, says and does

This woman is The Don. I’m actually very happy with what they did with her arc. Nobody could ever have replaced the relationship she had with Richard so it makes sense she ended up with her wonderful self. What a woman. The entire scene in Fall where she finally loses her cool at the DAR is perfection. Truly.

Paris

Oh Paris, you haven’t mellowed one bit and I love you for it. Highlights include the whole schtick with Doyle, the nanny and their town house in the city with way too many stairs, and the bathroom scene at Chilton. Could it be any more Paris?

I read somewhere that she’s become the lesbian crush du jour which is all well and good, but wasn’t she always? (Actually, it seems yes she was). I mean, she’s a character that has always stayed true to herself and that self is glorious. Difficult, determined, defiant and ferocious – but always funny, self-aware and fiercely loyal. It was soooo good to see her.

Gilmore Girls
Great, now I’m shipping these two so hard. Paris and Rory, obviously – not the old dude

Babette & Miss Patty back together

These two are me. Honestly, I hope I’m still into fit boys when I’m a grown up.

Jess ❤

My god he’s fit. I’m a little bit sad he’s not so brooding anymore but he’s so hot it physically hurts me. I’m glad he hasn’t gotten back together with Rory, even though he’s the one she should be with ultimately.

If they do move this into a new series then they’ve laid the groundwork well for a relationship revisit but as Meghan says, Jess is too good for Rory. She’s such a whiny twat.

Sookie Returns 

It’s not nearly good enough that she only pops up right near the end of the reunion and for less than five minutes, but I’ll take it. The “Still best friends?” moment was lovely. I might have had a lump in my throat. And all those cakes! Melissa McCarthy you are a dream.

HOT HOT DIGGITY DAMN

The steam punk look when the Life and Death Brigade came to play

Even thought the L&DB are somewhat irritating, against my better judgement I enjoyed it when they rocked up in Stars Hollow for one last hooray with Rory. I haven’t mentioned the Logan story line yet, which I’m indifferent to really. The cheating wasn’t really a surprise as Rory has form (getting it on with Dean after he married Lindsay) and also it happens. It’s not right of course but it’s Logan who’s being the disloyal fuck in this scenario.

God everyone despises Logan don’t they? I really don’t mind him and this was a corny, yet fitting way to see him off (or did we?). That steam punk hat Rory wears is TDF though, and I need one!

See also: Lorelai’s Wedding Hat.

The Lines Episode

I would so read the waiting in lines series Rory works on in Spring. I would also totally do it with a Wookiee.

Luke & Lorelai Get Spliced

About time. And Michel is married too! To a man!

Kirk’s New Movie

It is everything.

gilmore-girls-revival-photos-miss-patty-babette
Get you a person that looks at you like Babette looks at Miss Patty. And like Miss Patty looks at boys.

The Worst

Lane is still with Zack?

He’s even more of a douche-bag! That joke about him selling out wears thin realllly fast and goddamn it, that girl deserves better. Of all the characters in this show I think Lane was the most wasted, she was so cool. I can only remember seeing Lane properly a handful of times throughout the reunion too – and it sucks. It sucks as bad as Zack’s whole fucking deal.

Shut Up, Rory

Alexis Bledel is such a bad actress, I’m sorry. She’s just so awkward. She is stunning looking obviously and I want to enjoy the character of Rory so much, but I just don’t. She’s a sniveling brat. The worst (though not as bad as Zack, or Taylor. Oh god, and April). Fuck April.

Fat-shaming-a-go-go!

The fat shaming in Summer is appalling, fuck you guys really. This is 2016! Lorelai even jokingly scolds Luke for body-shaming in Winter, so I thought something might have changed. Nothing has changed. This is bad, guys – do better.

GILMORE GIRLS
Pretty good day shaming fat people by the pool

Gilmore Fights

I still hate the Lorelai/Rory fights. They are always so easily avoidable. They also remind me of the one and only time my Mum stopped talking to me (it was justified), and that still hurts my heart.

See also: Emily and Lorelai arguments. Just hug your mother, Lorelai for the love of God and forget this nonsense. It’s not worth it.

The Ending

I guess most things come full circle so it makes sense but it’s very dull. She should of ended up with Paris after all, though P is too much woman for a wet blanket.

Brexit

Naomi Shropshire (Alex Kingston being her usual gorgeous self), Rory’s one time book collaborator, makes a Brexit quip in the Spring episode. No. I come here to escape the world, not to be reminded of how scary it is. Stop it at once.

The Musical Bits

Boring! I’ve all but blocked them from memory.

Dean

Keep on walking, dickhead.

gilmore-girls-revival-photos-netflix-cemetary
Atomic Kitten were still looking pretty good at their reunion show

I think I’ve covered most of my thoughts here, I’m starting to feel sleepy. I’m also getting the urge to watch all four episodes all over again. This came at the perfect time of the year and as a wonderful birthday gift, and I’m not quite ready to leave it behind.

I don’t know if they’ll take this show any further. All I really know is that I’ll be right here if they do. It is cheesy as hell and more than irritating at times but I love it more than I can say. It’s quite new to me so I can only imagine what it would have meant had I discovered it first time around.

Have you taken a wander round 2016 Stars Hollow? What did you think? ❤

GILMORE GIRLS
“We’ve all done it with a Wookiee at one point, love.”

Big Screen Girl Gang 

I stole this idea from last month’s Cosmopolitan, not going to lie. It was lying around in the gym last night and I take my inspiration where I can get it. Cosmo’s version has more of a single girl flavour though, choosing to celebrate the solo babes of cinema in line with the release of Bridget Jone’s Baby.

I’m just picking the 8 movie women I’d most like to hang with and why, because why wouldn’t I? It’s an awesome plan.

In no particular order:

1403747598928

Who? Lisbeth Salander (Rooney Mara, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo)
Why? Look, Lisbeth isn’t exactly warm and fluffy, I know this. Hugs might be a little light on the ground but when it comes to loyalty, there’s nobody more so. I’m all about that and appreciate it in friends. Plus, if I accidentally ever send a dodgy email to somebody, who better than Lisbeth to intercept it before it gets read?
What she’d teach me: How to actually use my laptop for more than just streaming Netflix and buying toot.

3978603-killbillvol1-1

Who? Beatrix Kiddo AKA The Bride (Uma Thurman, Kill Bill: Vol. 1 & 2)
Why? She’s just very cool and focused. I could use inspiration like that in my life. She also has the whole revenge thing down pat so I know, if anyone ever really hurt me, she’d have some tips on how to deal.
What she’d teach me: How to be handy with the Japanese steel, or failing that, a stick from the park.

tumblr_o8izqhsnfo1qknqnao3_1280

Who? Alabama Worley, née Whitman (Patricia Arquette, True Romance)
Why? Alabama is sweetness personified with, like me, a love of martial art movies and pie. She also believes in true love and girl, you got me there. Love is the only thing that really matters in life as far as I’m concerned, be it romantic, parental, whatever – there’s a reason it makes the world go round.
What she’d teach me: How to be creative and strong in a fight, whilst rocking the shit out of leopard print and candy-coloured Lycra.

My tribute to Alabama, here.

american-mary

Who? Mary Mason (Katharine Isabelle, American Mary)
Why? Mary would be the hot friend I had a bit of a thing for. She’s an academic but she’s also open to trying new and bizarre things. The desire to accompany her on these adventures would hopefully rub off on me. She’d likely be the most open-minded of the gang and ferociously feminist, which is fine by me.
What she’d teach me: To express myself better. How to be braver when I get piercings.

My review of the film, here.

chfulsdu8aa95e9

Who? Abby Yates (Melissa McCarthy, Ghostbusters)
Why? She’s so fun and smart, and rocks a boiler suit like nobody’s business. She’s also not afraid to fight for what she believes in (ghosts), even when the rest of the world is rolling their eyes at her and her team. She’d probably make me look cleverer just by association.
What she’d teach me: Sciencey shit and how to wield a proton pack (like I wouldn’t ask to try it).

My review of the film, here.

Gilmore Girls TV Series starring Kelly Bishop and Edward Herrmann as Emily and Richard Gilmore - dvdbash

Who? Emily Gilmore (Kelly Bishop, Gilmore Girls)
Why? Not technically a ‘big screen’ character but Emily stays. (She was in Dirty Dancing and a load of other films, what more do you want from me?). Em might seem like a controversial choice with a few decades on the rest of us but man is she good fun. Appreciates a damn good drink, always comes through for her loved ones and is the sassiest person in the Stars Hollow area (yes I know she’s a way out of town). You’d always be drunk and/or laughing your arse off round Emily’s.
What she’d teach me: How to burn my haters with the flick of my tongue (not like that, you pervs).

the-foxy-merkins1

Who? Margaret (Lisa Haas, The Foxy Merkins)
Why? Why not? She’s so adorable. A bit bumbling but then so am I. She’s a hooker in the loosest sense of the word and one could argue, the worst of all time which just makes her more endearing. Margaret would most certainly be the ‘Bad Sex’ storyteller of the group. TBH I’ve just been reminded of the single best quote in cinematic history, uttered by Margaret about her plus size vagina to “The Mumbling Erotic Accessory Salesman” trying to sell her a merkin.
What she’d teach me: How to be resourceful when I’m down and out.

My review of the film, here.

0-hnmzcyolvdwnrc6p

Who? Barb Holland (Shannon Purser, Stranger Things)
Why? Barb’s another small screen sensation but I was hardly going to exclude her from my dream girl gang, was I? Every squad needs a sensible type and Barb’s not a great drinker, is the designated driver and will worry about my morals for me (although p. sure that ship has sailed and circled the globe several times already). I’d keep her away from pools and beer cans though, she’s a bit of a liability.
What she’d teach me: To make the right decisions. Maybe. Probably not. But she’d try.

My tribute to Barb, here.

~

Who do you choose for your Girl Gang? ❤

Ta Ta For Now, Emily Gilmore

e
Bottoms Up, Bitches

I watched the last episode of Gilmore Girls last night and it went exactly as you’d expect. Me sobbing into my tea while my husband mocked me. But I’m not sorry at all to have formed such an attachment to some of the show’s key characters.

*SPOILERS AHEAD IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN THE FINAL SEASON YET*

An attachment to Emily and Richard, to Lane Kim and Paris Geller. To Miss Patty and Babette. I’m into Lorelai perhaps because I identify with that need to wisecrack at all times, though mine is bourne of awkwardness.

Even “Is he/Isn’t he hot?” Luke Danes, the schmuck who just wants Lorelai to be happy and in the end, was she?

Let’s just say I was satisfied with who said and did what, who didn’t end up together, the choices these people made.

I agree with what my friend Meghan says here, Lane deserved better but in the end, she was happy and rebelling in her own sweet way, so I’m not even that mad. I’m kind of pissed that Sookie got knocked up again because Jackson lied about his vasectomy, I’d have cut off his junk and fed it to Paul Anka.

I was sad to see Logan go (though was Boring Rory ever going to make any other choice than the one she did?) and ecstatic for Paris, my second favourite character in the whole outfit. She’s so difficult and relentless but she’s loved and loves back. It’s a beautiful thing.

aa3bd27e-f313-4f19-9f04-c8254e80ffe5
Don’t be fooled, she’s a monster. And she’s fabulous!

Sadly, Taylor wasn’t hung out in the square to be pecked to death by crows, as he would have been if I’d written GG. Kirk‘s final big stunt, the Blaine-esque art installation killed me. All in all, I’m happy.

I am also bereft because now what do I do with my time and energy? Is there another show that will warm my cockles in the same way? Freaks & Geeks has just made its way onto Netflix and that could do in a pinch, but it’s only 18 episodes.

But you know what, don’t worry about me. I’ll find something else to bring me the comfort Gilmore Girls has. To make me shout at the screen in fury, cry when one of the pricklier characters gives an uncharacteristic speech to their daughter. To invest so much in another will they/won’t they/why the fuck is she doing that? I’ll let you know when I find it.

Of course there is a silver lining and that’s the prospect of four brand new Gilmore episodes coming in November. On my birthday, no less. I know darling Richard won’t be there (RIP Edward Herrmann) but I cannot fucking wait to see what became of the rest of them.

My hopes as follows:

  • Lorelai and Luke are still together
  • Emily is still caustic as fuck and possibly even remarried but to an equal, no wet blanket for old Em
  • Maybe even someone without money would be good for her
  • Lane’s dumped the zero (Zack) and got with the heroes (Pussy Riot). Kids are on tour with mama, obvs
  • Rory’s finally become interesting
  • Babette and Miss Patty are now in a romantic relationship with each other
  • Taylor’s been run out of town by the residents of Stars Hollow, I don’t care how or why, just begone you horrible old fool!
  • Lulu‘s ditched Kirk, the ungrateful toad

What shall I watch next then, eh? ❤

gg

Happy Gilmores

landscape-1454107170-gilmore2
You’ll never win this staring contest

So I have a new obsession.

Call it the turning of the season, call it needing something solid to comfort me as I navigate this cruel wasteland of a world. Whatever we do decide to call it, it’s the best (televisual) thing to happen me since, well Stranger Things. And Stranger Things was very good indeed.

Gilmore Girls is something I’ve avoided successfully for years. First aired in 2000, it’s all about the close bond between Lorelai Gilmore and her 16-year-old daughter Rory and I’d written it off as too twee for me.

Well. Don’t get me wrong, it is on the cheesy side but imagine a pile of steaming hot cheesy chips for a second. Fromage-heavy indeed, but also extremely satisfying and comforting.

My friend Sian mentioned it last time I saw her and described it as one of the things she turns to when she’s in need of TLC and that sold it. I’m now six seasons down and even my husband’s into it.

Here are my observations so far:

*Beware possible SPOILERS*

I’d move to Stars Hollows in a heartbeat if I could, it’s the cutest.

Dean is the fucking worst with no redeeming qualities whatsoever.

Logan is the most charismatic Rory boyfriend but ultimately I think she should get with Jess once, and end up with none of them.

Rory’s British accent is horrific.

These teens sure do like getting married huh?

I can’t work out if I find Luke attractive or not.

stillemily
Bitchy in pink

Emily Gilmore is hands down the best character, she’s deliciously wry.

There sure are a lot of homophobic/fat jokes, eh? Must have been in vogue in the early noughties.

How is it that neither Lorelai or Rory ever put on weight given the amount of take out they devour?

Paris is the second best character. Then Mrs. Kim. I like the aggressive ones.

What on earth does Lane see in Zach?

Why can’t Taylor Doose just fuck off?

gilmore-girls-will-rory-marry-one-of-her-three-exes
Fringe benefits

Why did Rory wait so long to get bangs, they look incredible.

Sookie is amazing and all but the clumsy kooky fat chick schtick is a little bit old.

Kirk‘s tax return must be all over the place the amount of jobs he does.

It genuinely makes me feel anxious when Lorelai and Rory fight.

***

gilmore-girls
“I’m not watching Glitter again!”

Joking aside, the show really does have a lot going for it. The relationship between mother and daughter is fun to watch, the wise-cracking between them, while exhausting and relentless, must have been quite something back when this first came out.

It’s a very feminist show, about two women growing together without a man around. The women speak openly about everything, from sex to drug use, and it promotes female friendship so well. I even find Lorelai’s fractious relationship with her parents touching, and often well up when Emily finally comes through.

I can now understand why the people who love it love it so much. I’m one of them.

Here’s to Season 7 and the 2016 reunion. I can’t hardly wait!

Are you a Gilmore fan? ❤