Run, Fat Girl, Run

I should have included this on the last update but forgot. Again, it probably falls under the category of “Who else, besides me actually cares?” but it’s my blog and I’ll be tedious if I want to!

Running. Yeah, I’m still not doing very well. Between you and me *leans in* I haven’t even attempted to run for two weeks.

Bad. Bad. Bassy.

I know I will never get better if I don’t Just Do It (aah?) but I haven’t been. I haven’t given up per se, I just haven’t been trying. The thought of running still appeals – it’s something I want to be good at – to me it’s more than just about the health benefits.

I can just see myself running in the middle distance, one of those bottles you can hold in your hand in my hand – cute running gear and a sweaty face. I can visualise this and see myself being good at it.

I think my downfall is that I keep thinking that as soon as I lose weight there’ll be less of me to carry around. I’ll be lighter and therefore more aerodynamic! But this makes no actual sense, you don’t lose weight if you ain’t moving, right?

I do feel better. I know I am getting there. It’s not like I’m not moving at all – all the good I am doing should make running easier eventually. I’m going to just start.

What have I got to lose? Except flab, obviously!

*Please note: Photo is not mine – but damn, I want those sneaks!

Wellness & Wonder

1969397_10153971044655018_1247624656365560236_nI don’t know if I’ve mentioned this before but all the exercise and eating well and singing lessons have been part of a bigger picture for me.

I’m calling it ‘Project Me’ but I’ll work on the name,obviously, as part of the whole wellness thing.It’s pretty lame, I know.

Project Me is about making myself better in small ways.

The diet and exercise is a no-brainer: I’m looking to, if not become Miranda Kerr by the Summer then at least be a more toned, confident version of who I am already.

I’m truly not that interested in being smaller, although it would be nice. I’m just looking to whittle my waist back in and not feel like a stranger is walking too close to me only to realise it’s my own bottom behind me. True story.

I like the idea of being a fit fatty (saw it on somebody’s Twitter bio) but this will only work if I can ensure I’m healthy and right now – newsflash! – I’m not as healthy as I could be.Don’t get me wrong I don’t have any health issues, I’m just thinking of the evil BMI, etc (I know it’s a guideline).1610070_10153971065235018_654938086982862426_n

The running has been a huge part of the project, and it hasn’t being going that well. The thing is, I know I get better the more I do it, but I don’t do it as much as I can. And although I have been public about my desire to be a runner, and I want to succeed, I’m still not pushing myself enough.

But this is not just about the physical. I’m working on my inner strengths and mental health too. Hence the singing lessons.

I’m still terrible and although I’m getting more confident as we go along, I still suck. I love it though and my teacher is great.People keep asking me if I’m planning on performing. Erm, no never.

It’s not about anything like that for me, it’s just about doing something I’ve always wanted to.

So, Project Me is about treating my body like a temple (you take cake into temples sometimes, right?), moving as much as possible and trying to enjoy it; and being more positive.

It’s a work in progress.