My Funny Valentine

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I’ve never made a secret of the fact that I despise this holiday. Valentine’s is the suckiest of all the special occasions, without a doubt. It tricks you into thinking that the things that really don’t matter matter – the red foil covered chocolates, the roses and the dinners, and I’m mad at it for that.

But Cupid already knows my views so I’ll spare you another year of rambling on about it. This year I think it’s much more important to acknowledge the most valuable long-term relationship you will ever have – the one you have with your fine self.

We live a long time (for the most part), a whole life in the company of one person we simply can’t avoid – so it’s vital we try and get along. Easier said than done though, innit? When we’re battling our demons, juggling stress and social anxiety – comparing ourselves to others on Instagram. It’s exhausting adding self-love to the list of things we ‘should’ be doing – and sometimes even that rhetoric is flawed. Like, love yourself please but not too much. 

I say, do your best – do what makes you feel good and better. Whether that’s hanging with your Galentine’s, eating nice food – you get the drift. I think I’d be much more comfortable with St. Valentine’s birthday if it was about that instead.

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As for my evening, I’ve been out for coffee and a gossip with a new friend, eaten roast chicken and we’re now watching Valentine (2001) because I’m in the mood for pretty people being picked off one by one by a vengeful cupid. You?

Happy Valentine’s Day, whatever you’re up to.

💖💖💖

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International Day of the Girl Child

Yesterday was International Day of the Girl Child and also, World Obesity Day. The latter as you can imagine divided the internet and a lot of the fat babes I follow on Twitter claimed the hashtag for themselves as a form of celebration. I was there for it as always, as were the usual boring trolls and health police. YAWN.

All I can say in response to the usual BS comments online is that every person, whoever they are and whatever they look like, even if they offend your eyes or make you feel concerned for their personal welfare, are deserving of love and respect. And you have no right to comment on anybody else’s body – ever. Do you.

In the meantime, twirl on those haters, ladies.

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Anyway, I’m here to talk about GIRLS. I often think about how sad it is I will never have a girl child of my own. Which might sound stupid given my strong stance on not having children – like, never ever – but that doesn’t mean I have taken my decision lightly.

There are many personal reasons for not wanting to be a mother and this is not the time to discuss them but I do think about what it would be like to have a daughter to mirror the great relationship I have with my own mother. I can just imagine a ferociously grouchy little riot grrrl with my hair.

Despite there not being a daughter in my future, I have such amazing women in my life – and amazing women to come, in the shape of nieces (hopefully), future friends and future children of friends. They are all my daughters, sisters and mothers and that is what I’m here to celebrate today.

So a shout out to the women in my life, and these lovely bloggers below.

Jill 

Wifey for life. A talented, beautiful babe who just understands that sometimes people are the worst. Life is better knowing this one is only ever a message away, even when life is busy.

Meghan

This guy, man. This guy is the greatest, and if you read her blog, you’ll see why. The sharpest writer and the baddest motherfucker in town.

Belle of the Bluegrass

Lydia is such a beautiful writer and her blog is a gorgeous space to hang out. A dream girl online and IRL, I’m a massive fan.

Ponderous Pieces

I love Hannah’s PP and particularly enjoy the Bae Watch series. And pretty much everything else that she publishes, I won’t lie.

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And to every single woman or girl who comes by here, every woman I know – I appreciate you and all that you are.

Always.

Who are your Girls? 👩🏻‍🎤💃🏼👯

Right, no more International or World Days of anything! Back to horror best tomorrow.

Definitely May(be) & My June/July Pledge

Artist’s rendition of what Jill and I will look like hanging out

May looks set to be a very packed month round these parts. I’ve already chalked off my first social engagements (which went swimmingly) and can now start looking forward to the arrival of a very special guest indeed.

Clue: it’s not the Queen of England. It’s waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay more exciting than that!

I’m thinking you’ll get a lot of social media updates about the penultimate week in May when Jillian and I are finally together so maybe we’ll get creative on that front and wow you with something different. Or maybe we’ll just eat lots, go and see lots, and watch lots. That’s more likely tbh.

I can’t say much other than I’m really starting to get excited about the whole visit. Although, not so excited about the extensive Spring cleaning I will have to do before our home is fit for guests (You’re worth it Jill).

I’d also like to take a moment in this post to lay down my pledge for the next few upcoming months (if it’s in writing I have to do it right?):

From the 1st of June to the 31st July 2016 I, Christa Bass, will not shop

Since that is rather a bold statement, I will elaborate below.

During the month of June and July 2016:

  • I cannot buy: shoes, clothing, accessories or books
  • I may only buy essentials which include: my base make-up items, shampoo/conditioner, moisturiser and nail polish remover*
  • I can buy gifts for other people but only if required/authorised by my credit card holder (which will be Glynn, who I have chosen as he’s closest)
  • I will remove my credit card details from all my most visited shopping sites which is pretty much just ASOS
  • I will use put money I would ordinarily spend onto my credit card and then into our savings account
  • I am allowed to have my hair and nails done because that comes out of the well-being budget (LOL, loopholes!)
  • Instead of spending money during these months, I will read books from my To Read pile, blog and go to the gym at least 3 times a week

Now I don’t think any of you realise what a profound effect this will have on my day-to-day life as I am such a prolific shopper. Like, I have a very real addiction and I want to try to shake it. I shop alllllll the time and have a package delivered to work nearly every day (if not multiple packages).

I send back a lot of things which is great practice but I do get a big kick out of the initial purchase and receiving of items, which makes me think I need to find another outlet. I don’t know what that outlet is but I’m going to try and find out. I’m hoping it will be working out (for the endorphins not weight loss, yo) and blogging more.

So there you are. An exciting month coming up, with two months of sensible behaviour to follow. I think that’s a good balance.

Until then, my friends, it’s business as usual on the blog and in my life. We’ve had some sad news on G’s side of the family which means we’ll be travelling up north in the next week or so but apart from that, same old.

What are you most looking forward to in May/the Summer? ❤

*Includes female products, cotton wool, etc of course but who wants to list every little thing?

Easter

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An accurate recreation of how I look in my lounge wear

We’ve never been big Easter celebrators round these parts.

Being non-religious and all, it’s usually just an excuse to enjoy a gleeful four day weekend (more if you’re clever with your holiday days) and to eat chocolate for every meal.

I’ve been a lazy, lazy toad personally. Sure, I’ve been out a bit, seen some friends, seen a couple of movies at the cinema, nothing strenuous. But the rest of it has been mainly spent in my knickers, pottering.

I love a potter about, me. I like my own bedroom nook, in which I seem to regress, watching teen movies and blow drying my hair. Reading and painting nails.

I’m responsibility-less for a few hours at a time, not stressing out about the usual things: work, ageing, whether The Carters (Queen Bey and Jay Z, not Danny Dyer and Co) are really on the rocks. It’s nice.

You know what? Sometimes it’s just nice to take time to recharge and therefore they’ll be no more guilt speak from me. I have two more lie ins ahead, a banoffee luxury egg in my fridge and I might even draw myself up a blog plan.

I want to spend more time around these parts, making it nice. My virtual nook, if you will.

Whatever you’re doing this weekend, have a good one! ❤

Smalentine’s Day

il_570xN.877963078_h5peI’m not a big fan of Valentine’s Day. I may have mentioned it before.

In fact, I’ve spent a fair amount of this week whinging about how much I hate the commercialism, the pressure and the girl in the street who can’t even carry the huge bunch of red roses her boyfriend got her.

Evidence yet again that I’ve let Valentine’s get to me and I don’t know why I let it. I mean firstly, isn’t a whole day dedicated to sweet loving my very life blood? I freaking love LOVE, man.

And I am still in love, after all these years. Yet neither of us are VD celebrators (again, the holiday not the STD) so when I drop hints about things I don’t need or even want (flowers/jewellery/a basket full of kittens in pink neckties), my S.O. rightly ignores me.

He knows I’m being irrational, manipulated by a fat flying baby and we don’t have the money for big gifts anyway. Even if we did, wouldn’t we both prefer food? I’m happy and content as I am, Saint Fucking Valenpants, so back the hell off.

That said, I had a mini-huff a few evenings ago over our complete lack of romantic plans this weekend – only to be met a moment later with a new email notification. Ticket confirmation for Deadpool on Sunday. For 2, premier seats.

Burgers for lunch, gelato afterwards.

Proof romance is not dead, not even sleeping. Proof that love still has a pulse and doesn’t need its own day in the sun (but sometimes that can be nice, I guess). Valentine’s always does one thing I can’t deny: it serves to make me think about love in all its forms.

Big, flashy and completely O.T.T. versus Everyday loving.

Neither is the right way and they’re not mutually exclusive, obvs – you can chose any kind whenever you like. But I like the kind that sends the love of my life into town on a Saturday to pick up a package because he knows I hate crowds. When it’s raining.

The kind that delivers a cup of tea every now and again without asking. My favourite is the kind that orders Deadpool tickets and helps me sneak Burger King into the theatre too.

I’m going to stop being so down on the whole thing from now on because it’s not so bad. If I don’t like it, I can buy my own chocolates and jewellery.

Plus, Valentine’s spawned Woman Appreciation Day, AKA Galentine’s and that’s just the best. My princess Tatty bought me flowers and candy to cheer me up, and I sent cards to my local babes (and mum). Not going to lie that it feels good to spread love (and one day I might organise myself to go internationally).

Let’s face it, our girls are the important ones really. They’re the ones who listen to us moan 24/7, talk to us about contouring and help us sort ourselves out when we’re having yet another crisis of confidence.

Love is a broad thing, man. And this post is practically Belgian, so full of waffle it is.

What are your Valentine’s plans? Do you celebrate, do you hate it like I do or do you have your own cool tradition? ❤

Holiday Fuck Yeah!

If anybody needs me next week, I will mostly be doing these things:

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    Just hanging with my mates on my time off

    First and foremost, I will be sleeping in. Or if not sleeping in late then at least turning off the alarm and waking up naturally. Which will no doubt mean I’ll be eating cereal in front of Netflix by 8 but with the option to go back to bed whenever the fuck I feel like it – which is kind of the same thing?

  • Updating my CV. I say this but I feel like it’s not a task I want to be doing in my free time, you know? I feel like I should at least be dipping my toe in the job market, seeing what else is out there. That said, I am seriously looking into night classes in web coding because I’m confident I’d be pretty good at that shit, and have been doing quite a lot of web based projects lately – so I’ll be considering my options while I have some time off.
  • Graffiti hunting. As if I’d spend my down time doing anything else. Graffitibridgeblog.com needs some attention and some of Brighton’s best artists are going to be down at the Brighton i360 this Sunday, covering 100 metres of hoarding around the building site – obvs I want to see what they come up with for myself.
  • Thinking about joining the gym. Wait, what? You read that right. I just want to get strong and feel powerful, not out of breath after walking up two flights of stairs – notice how I didn’t say “lose weight”? I’m not doing that to myself anymore. I’ll exercise to feel hench, end of.
  • Not wearing clothes. Naked is always best. Maybe not for my neighbour whose front door looks directly into our kitchen (You’re welcome neighbour).
  • Getting my Marvel on. I thought I was done with the Marvel universe, then I figured I’m just All Avenger-ed Out. Ant-Man and Fantastic Four have turned my head. Paul Rudd in leather? In. Miles Teller in anything? Donesies. Premier seats in the back row with my bae = Heaven.
  • Reading. Lots and lots of reading. This is what I’ve got on the go now, and what’s next:

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The First Bad Man by Miranda July
Triptych by Karin Slaughter
Carol by Patricia Highsmith
I Am Pilgrim by Terry Hayes (Currently reading)
Church of Marvels by Leslie Parry

(Unicorn notebook from Paperchase – for ideas, innit.)

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  • I will, of course, also be blogging! By the end of my time off, I will have reviewed 2 films with Jillian. We took a week’ hiatus last week due to our pesky internet outage, but it’s now back in full effect and now so am I. Next up: Wetlands. Any film that uses the tagline “The most WTF, NSFW movie at this year’s Sundance Film Festival” has got my attention, TBH.

Have a good week, all. I know I will! *Takes off bra*

Galentine’s Day

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I’d set out to write a damning post about Valentine’s Day today, poo pooing anything remotely heart shaped, made of chocolate or encased in red foil. I’ve changed my mind about that, having read a few lovely blog posts sharing intimate and heart warming stories of love and commitment. It’s given me the adjustment that I needed, and yes I really am that fickle.

You see, I love romance and love. I live for it. Nothing makes me happier than people falling in love and expressing that love in whichever way they see fit (within reason, obvs). Give me a grand, romantic gesture any day of the week.

I’m lucky to have a loved one of my own and to be part of a partnership that feels like it was meant to be. It’s no exaggeration to say that I feel like all my wishes came true the day I met Mr Bass.

Yet despite this, Valentine’s day just doesn’t do it for me. I always end up deflated as the 14th draws to a close and I know it’s because I’ve bought into the hype. I’ve got carried away in a frenzy of heart shaped paraphernalia; allowed it to turn my head and make me expect things I don’t even want or need.

Who run the world?
Who run the world?

I’m lucky in love every day so one set date to show and receive love is just not necessary, in my eyes. If I was single I’m sure I’d still be hopeful but I’d feel the same; it’s a Hallmark holiday designed purely to get the cash registers kerching-ing (BAH HUMBUG).

Still, every year as I watch the girls in the office be bombarded with bouquets and shiny things, or get whipped off on boutique hotel breaks in the country, I start to wish for those things myself. When I don’t get the same, I feel let down. Which is rude, ungrateful and frankly pathetic, especially when I’ve specifically said, “Don’t get me anything”.

But since I am going back and forth on this, I have to consider, is it really such a bad thing to encourage people to share their feelings ? I suppose not.

Anyway, in the spirit (and my original theme) of hating VD (the day, not the disease), I decided to stop myself being disappointed this year by spreading love, instead of expecting it. Inspired by my heroine, Leslie Knope of Parks & Rec and her Galentine’s concept, I sent all my best (UK) girls some love, reminding them of why I love them. Which I do, very much and all in different ways.

(Non-UK babes, I’m afraid I didn’t organise myself in time, but this is a new tradition so expect mail in February 2016).

So, today officially it’s Galentine’s Day and I’m all about the ladies.

All my beautiful ladies: I heart you long time. From the bottom of my grumpy heart.

All images via Google.