Tag Archives: LGBT

God’s Own Country (Film) Review

Here at Collab HQ (it’s more of a state of mind than an actual place given that we’re camped on separate continents), we love to devastate ourselves. Sometimes we favour fluff just to get over the utter weep-fests we’ve put ourselves through.

Although this week’s movie might not have had that exact effect on me, it did leave me with a heavy lump in my chest. It was a movie I felt profoundly and I’m so glad we finally got round to it. Thank you Netflix for coming through.

*Spoilers*

God’s Own Country (2017)

IMDB Synopsis

Spring. Yorkshire. Young farmer Johnny Saxby numbs his daily frustrations with binge drinking and casual sex, until the arrival of a Romanian migrant worker for lambing season ignites an intense relationship that sets Johnny on a new path.

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My Review

Johnny (Josh O’Connor) lives with his dad and gran on a cattle farm in Yorkshire. Rural life is fucking tough, his father isn’t that well and Johnny dulls his pain and loneliness with booze and secret liaisons with boys down the local (I feel ya, Johnny). Delivered home puking most nights by furious cab drivers, Johnny’s folks just think he’s irresponsible and don’t understand him at all. This just exacerbates his feeling of isolation and when he does bump into friends from his past, he’s bitter because they’ve moved on and left him behind.

When it becomes apparent that the farm will need more help during lambing season, they hire Romanian migrant worker Gheorghe (Alec Secareanu) who quickly becomes a god send, much to Johnny’s irritation. The pair doesn’t hit it off immediately and Johnny burns bridges in the first few days by referring to Gheorghe as ‘gyppo’.

While Gheorghe pretty much just gets on with it, even around the awkward energy between Johnny and his family, he doesn’t take kindly to Johnny’s racist attitude and nips it in the bud quickly. One weekend, away from the farm but very much on farming duties, the boys come head to head and the friction that’s been building between them explodes. What begins with a fight, ends in rough sex in the mud.

After this encounter, the two barely speak about it though there has been an unmistakable shift between them. Later that night, they fuck again, this time with a little more tenderness.

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Back at the ranch, the sex continues but it also becomes more than that. Johnny invites his lover to share his bed in the farmhouse but he declines, preferring to stay in the caravan.

As Johnny and Gheorghe get closer, Johnny’s father suffers another stroke and the future of the farm is placed in Johnny’s calloused hands. When he discusses the prospect of Gheorghe staying on and permanently running the farm with him, Gheorghe expresses some concerns, namely living and working together simultaneously.

This sends Johnny into a tailspin and he acts out enough to send Gheorghe packing. Gheorghe also suffers some predjudice in the pub which doesn’t help.

Johnny’s nan Deidre (Gemma Jones) blames him for fucking up again and wonders how they’ll manage now. When Johnny goes to see his father about the future, he’s surprisingly understanding and gives his blessing for Johnny to do what he needs to to be happy – can you guess what that is?

Will Johnny do the right thing and make a success of his future finally? What do you think?

This film is gorgeous to look at but it’s all in the glances our lovers share, in the secret looks and the slightest of gestures. It’s in the loneliness, the isolation and the ache of not being able to be open to who they are – until they can be open with each other and I really felt it all.

The performances are heartfelt, while the pace of the film is quite slow which I didn’t mind. Not once did this feel like a slog and I think there’s a skill in that kind of film making. The movie very subtley addresses the topic of homophobia but more so in the fact that it isn’t talked about and everything has to be secret. While I don’t remember any out and out prejudice, this is only because Johnny’s not out publicly.

It was heart-warming to learn that perhaps Johnny’s family knew more than he thought about his ‘secret’ and that in their own sweet way they just wanted what was best for him. As for Gheorghe, we get little insight into his own life in Romania, something I would have liked but I understand wasn’t strictly necessary.

All in all this is a nice love story that felt authentic – and yes, it almost finished me.

My Rating

4.5/5.

What did my love think of this one? Would she take it down the local for a fumble or toss it out with the cold bath water? Find out here of course.

Ghostbusters (2016) (Film) Review

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It’s 2016 and I’ve just been to see a Ghostbusters film. What is this madness?

A lot has been made of the decision to “reboot” such an 80’s classic and with an all-female team of ghost hunters no less. If we’re frank, most of the comments about its impending release have been negative, or at least these are the easier ones to remember.

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This is my favourite picture of anything, ever ❤
The die-hard Busterites have been up in arms about their beloved films being tampered with in any way which I understand, yet it’s very hard to separate this train of thought from that of the misogynists who can’t bear the thought of women in any context other than draped over the bonnet of a car or making a sandwich. That’s before we even think about the racial slurs against Leslie Jones, whose only crime in life was to take a role and not be white.

I’m only touching upon this stuff because I want to focus on the way the film made me feel but the way Leslie’s been treated is appalling. And while I doubt justice can be served to an army of cowards hiding behind their keyboards, I hope she’s engulfed in love and continues to feel great pride in what she’s accomplished with this film. Because it’s fucking ace.

I’m not reviewing in the traditional sense, nor giving anything away because that would be foolish. I hope everyone goes to see this film, even if they have misgivings because it has been joyful to tap back into my childhood for a few hours. As with the whole Pokémon Go phenomenon, I think we’re learning recently that there’s a huge space in our lives reserved just for nostalgia. I blame Trump, British Politics and all the violence in the world, in no particular order.

But to the film. If I were asked to review in just three words, I would say:

Loved. Every. Minute

I did. I smiled like a dufus from beginning to end and threw my head back to laugh out loud a hundred times. Sure, sometimes I was guffawing at a fart joke but what else do you need on a balmy Hump day evening?

The writing overall is very strong and of course it is, it’s written not only by Paul “Bridesmaids” Feig but also Kate Dippold who has Parks & Recreation (2009) and The Heat (2013) under her belt. It is a female-centric film with gender reversal very much at the forefront but it’s done well and is never mean or dismissive.

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Chris Hemsworth‘s Kevin the Receptionist for example is objectified to the hilt but in the nicest possible way and even though his prettiness far outweighs his intellect, he never feels 2D and that’s skillful writing if you ask me.

The ladies are spectacular and I have huge affection for each of them. McCarthy is gorgeous, Jones is hilarious and wonderfully expressive. Wiig brings vulnerability to the role of Erin Gilbert while making me really buy into her childhood history with BFF Abby Yates while Kate McKinnon, lovely, lovely Kate, adds an injection of kook to engineer extraordinaire Dr. Jillian Holtzmann.

Holtzmann, FYI has caused the internet to implode with lust, as gay and heterosexual women the world over are crushing hard all over her character. While her sexuality is not openly stated at any point, we’ve given enough material to reach our own conclusion. My conclusion is that it’s fucking awesome to see four interesting woman helm a movie without a sniff of patronising love story on the horizon. In fact, scrub that, the love story is about their unswerving loyalty to one another.

Twitter also remarked that this is probably the first film you’ll see that doesn’t make you feel bad about your body and it’s true. I loved seeing big bodies onscreen and I, for one, am stoked Melissa McCarthy is out there being an attractive, sexual and funny fat woman who gets shit done while being someone I can identify with.

(Also, two posts on this blog mentioning Kristen Wiig and McCarthy in a row. You’re welcome).

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Honestly, I’m not here to criticise this movie in any way, I’m just not going to do it. The effects take me right back to 1984, the acting is hammy where it needs to be (the main villain) and the music, oh god that theme – it’s still everything. The cameos were also fun but I don’t want to spoiler them.

I’ll sign off here just by saying that I’m glad this is such a strong film. Those haters are going to hate regardless but I’m delighted it touched me the way it did. So far I’ve heard nothing but praise for these modern-day Ghostbusters, which was respectful to its forefathers by taking its own path and I’m closing my ears to anything but because I don’t care.

I ain’t afraid of no troll (I am).

Vic + Flo Saw a Bear (Film) Review 

vic-and-flow-posterBlimey. We don’t half think outside the box on some of our choices, eh?

This one could be considered one of our most art-housey perhaps, though it’s not as strange as I’ve Heard the Mermaids Singing, nor is it anywhere as quirky as the amazing The Foxy Merkins (which I realise I only gave a 4/5 rating which seems like a travesty in hindsight as I think of it fondly, and often).

However, I’m glad it was chosen as this is not something I ever would have picked of my own volition, so thank you for that, Jillian.

We’re regrettably nearing the finish line of Feminist February and I think it’s been a corker. I now feel some pressure to chose well for next week (checking the calendar shows me that we actually have two more feminist picks before we round it up, so there’s still hope of going out with a bang).

But for now, to the movie. As always, take care of *spoilers*.

Vic + Flo Saw a Bear (2013)

Director: Denis Côté
Stars: Pierrette Robitaille, Romane Bohringer, Marc-André Grondin

IMDB Synopsis: Vic + Flo Saw a Bear is a darkly mysterious tale of two lesbian ex-cons, Victoria and Florence, trying to make a new life in the backwoods of Quebec.

My Review:

Victoria has evidently just been released from prison, having received a life sentence. I could be wrong but I’m sure whatever it is she did is never revealed (I might have been texting).

While this may be the sentence she’s received, Victoria is not destined to spend all that time behind bars. Instead she has moved to the back-and-beyond of rural Quebec to live at her brother’s place, a former sugar mill.

Her brother is not really around but does pop in once to see Victoria, who has taken it upon herself to take over the primary care of her Uncle Émile Champagne (Georges Molnar), much to the annoyance of his current carer, Charlot Smith (Pier-Luc Funk) and his horrible father, Nicholas (Olivier Aubin). Émile is in a wheelchair and cannot communicate at all.

Vic also receives bi-weekly visits from her parole officer, Guillaume who means well but is rather serious and by-the-book (but also super cute). While Victoria adjusts to her new life in the sticks, where she gets from A to B by golf cart, she pines for her lover Florence.

One day Florence arrives at her new abode and to say she’s a little underwhelmed by the amenities would be an understatement. She’s unimpressed with almost everything and it soon becomes painfully apparent that this woman has a touch of the Madame Bovary about her.

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“I do all my best brooding in the nude.”

Flo visits the one local bar and goes home with a man she meets there (they don’t play Scrabble, knowwhatI’msayin’?). It’s a fleeting liaison (because it turns out he’s not available either) but it still happened. She also starts to make Vic paranoid by talking about how hot Guillaume is (true, but still). Vic begins to worry that she isn’t enough for Flo and although Flo says the right things, she doesn’t try that hard to convince Vic.

Meanwhile, Uncle Émile is moved into ‘proper care’ following a complaint about the level he’s been receiving at home from Vic. This comes from The Smiths, who have it in for Vic, possibly because of her previous conviction. So Émile moves on and the women are left alone in the woods.

Guillaume has come round to both women since meeting Flo and is happy with the progress they have made, even if he does expect more in the way of integration into the ‘community’.

He needn’t worry too much though as Vic makes a friend called Marina St-Jean (Marie Brassard), who is a little over-familiar but overall quite fun. She takes a shine to Vic and goes out of her way to help her nurture her garden (not a euphemism, but you do wonder). She also asks permission to ride her quad through Vic’s land when she needs to. Vic says it’s cool.

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Waiting for their next delivery of sensible shoes

Did I mention that Vic is 61 and Flo is considerably younger (like, late thirties maybe)? This has a lot to do with why Vic is worrying so much about losing her girlfriend, who evidently, like most girls, just wants to have fun.

One day, Marina awkwardly brings up with Vic the fact that Flo owes money at the bar. It turns out Marina also manages it when she’s not working for the Canadian version of the council (which is how she originally meets Vic). Vic pays Marina the £215 Flo owes and although she’s annoyed, she doesn’t think much of it.

Flo doesn’t let it slide quite so easily and storms down to the bar to confront Marina. Trouble is, there is no Marina and no unpaid bar tab. So what does that mean? Well, it turns out Florence has something of a past of her own and it seems to involve a woman called Jackie (who Vic knows as Marina), still following?

Jackie is hench as fuck and has her own henchman (Ramon Cespedes), who doesn’t even have his own name on IMDB, just ‘Jackie’s Assistant’. We don’t know what Flo did but it involved some sort of betrayal a decade before (pretty sure they don’t tell us what she did, could be wrong again). Perhaps she broke Jackie’s heart?

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“I’m so jealous of your amazing hammock! IKEA?”

Eventually, Jackie catches up with Flo and the main thing I felt about this is disappointment that Marina/Jackie is horrible and therefore not the perfect match I hoped she’d be for Vic. But hey-ho. Jackie, or rather her assistant then does something terrible to Flo which renders her immobile for several weeks.

Vic doesn’t absolutely hate this development as it means Flo is unable to go seeking something better and she reacts accordingly, more affectionate and loving, etc. Flo picks up on this because she’s a smart cookie and the couple fight. Flo can’t understand why Vic can’t live more in the moment which basically means, stop questioning her and let her do whatever the shit she wants, when she wants.

Sounds legit.

Poor Uncle Émile doesn’t fare too well in this film and The Horrible Smiths pay Vic a visit to shout at her for being shit after he passes away. I don’t really think this is that fair as Vic did look after him. Sure, she’s not really a hearts and flowers type but she isn’t cruel, that I can see.

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“I thought we agreed I’d wear the denim today, Vic?”

The pair go on a day trip with Guillaume to see some trains and some fish, and while Vic goes for a smoke (of course, another smoking flick!), G and F discuss Vic, and their relationship. Flo says she’s going to take Vic down to the lake for ‘a talk’. Guillaume tells Flo that Vic reminds him of his mother.

Flo gets better, things start to look up and then something really horrific (and weird) happens to the pair. I won’t give absolutely everything away but it’s fucked up. Let’s ponder some questions instead, shall we?

Questions:

What will become of our lovers? Will they end up together, or will Florence spread her wings and fly far away? These questions will be answered I guarantee it, whilst even more will pop up and slap you in the mush while you’re trying to figure what the fudge is going down.

My Thoughts:

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“Let’s put all our vests together in one collection, it’ll be ‘armless.”

Hm. This was surprisingly compelling for a film that doesn’t contain that much action. It’s basically a meditation on love and desire, and wanting something you’re so terrified of losing that is stops you from really living and enjoying that thing. PHEW.

The central performances are fine. Vic is all chocolate eyes and frown lines, and I sort of identify with her fear of ageing and leaving her lover behind (or being left behind). I mean, not literally but ageing is a big thing on my mind of late and there’s nothing anyone can do to slow it down.

The ending is crazy and almost jars against the slow pace of the rest of the film, but actually it works okay. It’s very dark and I sort of adore Jackie. I wish we got more of her.

From a femme POV, all the men apart from Guillaume are completely ineffective or steaming pieces of shit. Or they’re completely disposable sex objects (excellent). This is a woman’s film but it’s anything but sweet and fluffy – it’s hard, thought provoking, ugly, poignant and sad.

My Rating: 3.5/5. Odd and by no means terrible.

So where does Jillian come in on this? Is she trapped in a wooded clearing of indifference, or is she so happy she could restart the sugar mill and live happily ever after in virtual isolation? Find out for yourself here, bitches, don’t make me get my assistant onto you.

I’ve Heard the Mermaids Singing (Film) Review

ive-heard-the-mermaids-singing-movie-poster-1987-1020204047Week one in our long-awaited Feminist Film Month (if you don’t count last week’s Tootsie) and Jillian chose this quirky tale of Polly, an ‘organisationally pared’ temporary secretary and full time kook.

I’ve personally been looking forward to starting February off right for lots of reasons, not least because January sucked full arse. I know my blog wife feels the same way.

So let’s all put our hands together in a slow clap for this new month and keep that momentum going until at least the Spring, yes?

But to our film, which is Canadian and, incidentally, voted 9th in 1993’s Top 10 Canadian Films of All Time (thanks Wiki!).

As always *Spoilers Ahead*

I’ve Heard the Mermaids Singing (1987)

Director: Patricia Rozema
Stars: Sheila McCarthy, Paule Baillargeon, Ann-Marie MacDonald

IMDB Synopsis: Scatterbrained Polly gets a job as a secretary in Gabrielle’s art gallery.

My Review:

I identify with Polly in many ways, not least because she loves people watching and seems not to have any real direction. That’s so me! We begin this film with Polly speaking directly into the camera, telling us about the job interview she has at Gabrielle’s gallery which leads to an ‘incident’. She doesn’t use that wording but alludes to something that’s happened to her, or because of her.

It’s not really said but I get the impression that Polly is recording herself rather than talking to somebody else and is a little reminiscent of Miranda July in one of my favourite films, You and Me and Everyone We Know (2005) – although I think that’s just in my head.

At the interview, Polly meets Gabrielle, a rather serious French woman who takes Polly on to work in her gallery. During her introduction Polly admits that she isn’t very good at temping and has been described as ‘organisationally pared’. Gabrielle’s gallery is rather small but she definitely knows her stuff and Polly is quickly enamoured.

Polly FYI lives alone in a great little apartment and tells us that she has done so since the age of 21, when both her parents died. She is now 31. She enjoys taking photos and riding around the city on her bicycle. She is also prone to fantasy and often drifts off while waiting for her photographs to develop in her home dark room.

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“Say cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeessssssse!”

I love her for these flights of fancy which see her in a variety of scenarios that made me LOL for the most part.

Polly is a great character and has an immensely likeable face. It’s so expressive that if the entire film were just of her enormous eyes and face, I’d still have come out satisfied.

One afternoon at the gallery, shortly after Gabrielle has offered Polly a full-time job, despite the fact that several past employers have criticised her work and she herself admits typing isn’t her strong point, Mary turns up.

Mary is a leather jacket wearing painter who clearly shares a history with Gabrielle. When the women go off to talk in one of the gallery rooms, Polly listens and watches them on CCTV, which may or may not be a video camera planted inside a sculpture.

She is intrigued to learn that the women are former lovers and that Mary is still very much into Gabrielle, even though Gabrielle proclaims herself too old for her. They kiss, even though Gabrielle is currently seeing a man.

Polly admits in her video diary that she is falling in love with Gabrielle, hence her fascination but doesn’t really want all the kissing and stuff. Her admiration for her boss seems chaste and it’s not clear what Polly’s own agenda is. She doesn’t even seem particularly jealous of Mary, just curious about the whole relationship.

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“BTW you’re wrong.”

One of my favourite scenes occurs shortly after Polly discovers this new facet to her boss, as Gabrielle is walking a potential (male) buyer around the gallery. The two are discussing a collection of paintings by the same artist, and Gabrielle’s enthusiasm and obvious knowledge on the subject manages to sway his opinion, which is very strong (of course it is, he’s a man). Gabrielle does this in such an impressive way that by the end of scene I was nodding my head triumphantly, along with adoring Polly.

Things begin to develop when Polly is invited to Gabrielle’s home for her birthday party. She arrives really late, carrying a big box and all the other guests have already scattered, leaving just Gabrielle and Mary. Mary takes herself to bed while Polly and Gabrielle stay up. Gabrielle is sad and confesses that she’s upset because the one thing she wants she will never have. That thing is talent.

Polly is surprised to learn that her boss is a secret painter and asks to see her work. Gabrielle is hesitant but shows her anyway. Polly is absolutely blown away by the paintings (which are displayed to the viewer as blank glowing canvasses, thus allowing us to visualise this art as we see fit). And as Gabrielle passes out on the couch, she makes the decision to take a piece.

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“Oooh this lovely piece will look wonderful in the downstairs toilet.”

Back home with the painting, Polly is inspired by Gabrielle’s secret talent and selects some of her own photographs to send into the gallery under a pseudonym. She hopes that they’ll impress Gabrielle as much as Gabrielle has impressed Polly.

Gabrielle’s painting, meanwhile, is taken into the gallery without her permission by an encouraging Polly. Polly tells Gabrielle she shouldn’t be so shy as she’s clearly brilliant and that one of her associates has already been in and gushed about it.

Quickly, Gabrielle’s names gets out there and she becomes an instant hit on the art scene. She’s delighted, and quickly sheds her humble demeanor.

Polly, unfortunately feels rejected when her photos come into the office and Gabrielle dismisses them halfheartedly as “simple minded”. She calls in sick and stays home burning every one of her photographs.

I’m going to leave this here as all is not as it seems and if you watch I want to leave some things sacred. But to the questions section!

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“I really hate your stupid scarf right now.”

Questions:

Will Polly gain her artistic confidence back? Will she continue to love Gabrielle? Is Gabrielle all she seems?

My Thoughts:

As I wrote those questions I remembered that the ending was quite harsh but definitely proved that Polly is no doormat, despite her sweet and quirky outer appearance. Gabrielle quickly turns in Polly’s eyes (and therefore ours) from the be all and end all, to something hope-crushing and it’s all there displayed on Polly’s trusting face.

I thought this film was really something special, not least because of Sheila McCarthy (who I swear I know from more films). She plays Polly in an wide-eyed way that doesn’t grate and that’s an achievement in itself. Her daydreams could easily begin to irritate but don’t, even when she’s conducting an orchestra at just the wrong moment.

It’s okay that Polly doesn’t have a plan for life, or any friends or family because she’s something else. Otherworldly? I don’t know what it is, but there’s something about Polly.

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“I can’t wait for Keep Fit class later.”

Gabrielle too is a pleasure to watch, and I like that she wears her age well (whatever that actually means). This being the eighties there are lots of giant leather belts, big earrings and arm cuffs – and she rocks them all. As an ageing woman, her lines are clear to see but she’s stunning and interesting, so much more for those things. She also casts quite the shadow as an idol fallen from grace but maybe doesn’t deserve the comeuppance that she receives.

I really liked Mary, and particularly in a scene she shares with Polly, after Polly has given up on her photography dreams. Mary finds a discarded picture taken by Polly and Polly dismisses it, using Gabrielle’s exact words to put it down. Mary accuses her of being harsh, and what does any of that matter if she likes the picture? It’s a wonderful way to look at art.

All those comments synonymous with the art set, what do they matter unless you like the piece? And what if you like a piece nobody else does? It’s still art to you. They don’t explore this much and I would have like Polly to be bolstered by their conversation.

It is all very female-centric of course, which is why it was chosen and hardly any men appear. Or if they do they are only there to illustrate the points of the women. Polly admonishes one in particular when he patronises Gabrielle, labeling her lucky to have got where she has when she first starts becoming famous. That was a triumphant scene.

All in all, I would recommend this film quite highly. I just really like the tone. Plus, the scene where Polly follows the kissing couple around and almost gets busted for peeping on them in the woods made me DIE. Why does this scene remind me so much of The Foxy Merkins, Jill?

My Rating: 4/5.

Did my honey Jillian hear the mermaids singing or was it more of a damp squib to her? Find out here.

Pariah (Film) Review

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I’ve a feeling this may be the last in our Big Gay Blog Collab series for a while, as we’re pondering moving back into horror for upcoming Halloween (best season ever!). We settled on this choice (Jill’s) in the hope that we’d go out with a bang. A big arthouse-y, emotional bang that is.

So, did it live up to expectation – or did it turn out to be as limp as the lettuce I bought last weekend and should have chucked out by now? Let us see.

*spoilers*!

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Pariah (2011)

Director: Dee Rees
Stars: Adepero Oduye, Kim Wayans, Aasha Davis

IMDB Synopsis: A Brooklyn teenager juggles conflicting identities and risks friendship, heartbreak, and family in a desperate search for sexual expression.

My Review:

Alike is a young African American lesbian who hangs out in strip clubs with her friend, Laura who is openly gay. She’s a virgin and kind of shy, despite Laura’s best efforts to get her in the game. She’s a studious girl with a talent for poetry and she also has a distinctly ‘boyish’ style much to the chagrin of her mother, Audrey who’s forever trying to get her into pretty blouses and skirts.

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“This is my disapproving face.”

Audrey just doesn’t understand Alike and has deep suspicions about her sexuality, though she doesn’t say anything directly. Instead she sends her husband Arthur, a police officer in to see what’s what. Trouble is that Arthur is by and large an absent man, obviously with something extra going on the side and often late home. Basically, he’s one step short of having a flashing neon sign pointing at his head saying “Guess what? I’m cheating!”. As a result the parents row all the fucking time and in those moments, Alike and her annoying sister, Sharonda are thrown together as a unit.

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“You like Hanson too?!”

Audrey pushes Alike to become friendly with her friend’s daughter, Bina, not least because she thinks Laura is a bad influence (being a big bad dyke an’ all). At first Alike is not at all into this arrangement, but gradually the pair begin to bond over music and share a kiss. Laura in the meantime is pushed to the side and she doesn’t really like that, which makes you think that maybe she’s into Alike herself.

Arthur, on his police rounds, visits a store opposite the strip club that Laura and Alike frequent and one of the employees makes a flippant comment about his daughter being gay. He damn near loses his shit but it does plant a seed in his mind. Up to now he’s been pretty lax about Alike’s dress and attitude as they get on well. Basically, Arthur still thinks Denial is a river in Egypt.

Later on he chats to Alike and makes the assumption that she has a boyfriend when she starts talking about someone liking her. She doesn’t correct him though it’s clear she wants to. Later, after a party, Alike stays over at Bina’s and they do it. The next morning Alike is full of the joys of Spring but Bina is as cold as December and snaps at Alike that their night of passion does not mean that she’s a lesbian.

Alike is devastated and takes herself home. That night there’s an explosive argument on the home front and the truth comes out, leaving Alike badly beaten and outcast. In the aftermath, comfort comes from an unexpected source and Alike is forced to make a serious life choice.

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The future’s bright. Or is it?

Question section! Will it all work out in the end? What will Alike do with her life and her writing? Will her family ever come round? Will Laura ever profess her love for Alike?

And will Bina change her mind? Not that she deserves a second chance, the horrible cow. All these questions will be answered, or not even crop up at all, if you view this for yourself.

My Thoughts: 

I just didn’t feel this one. Perhaps because I went it expecting to feel everything, I’m not sure. All I know is that it took a little while to get going and then all the ‘action’ was in the last half an hour.

The performances were banging, I’ll give it that. Alike was likeable and all the main characters, including Audrey managed to make me feel for them. Even when the parents are letting their daughter down in a heartbreaking way, I felt sympathy for them. I want to believe that Audrey was just worried and would come round eventually, as many parents do (and some don’t, which breaks my tiny heart).

As for Arthur, he becomes (*spoiler*) a surprisingly positive element, despite his duplicitousness (also he’s very handsome). I would like to have seen more from Sharonda though, her brief scenes (including the dildo scene) are hilaire.

All in all, it’s very moving and hopeful in the end but moody and slow on the journey there.

My Rating: 3/5 – *Shrug*

I just wasn’t that into this, but what did my blog wife Jill think? Only one way to find out, eh?

The Foxy Merkins (Film) Review

Jillian’s pick this week and the next thrilling instalment in our Big Fat Gay Blog Collaboration 2015.

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If I’m honest I don’t really want to go back to hetero programming if I can help it. I don’t want to see James Marsden kissing girls ever again, if it can be Margaret instead (read on) or, indeed any of the main protagonists of the last few weeks.

Incidentally, Jill chose this film after reviewing Madeleine Olnek’s 2011 Codependent Lesbian Space Alien Seeks Same (read her thoughts on it here).

I didn’t really know what to expect, though from the above review, I knew that all bets were off , and that the best thing to do would be just to sit down and enjoy the ride.

*Spoilers*

The Foxy Merkins (2013)

Director: Madeleine Olnek
Stars: Lisa Haas, Jackie Monahan, Alex Karpovsky, Susan Ziegler

IMDB Synopsis: Two lesbian hookers wind their way through a world of bargain-hunting housewives and double-dealing conservative women in this buddy comedy, an homage to and riff on iconic male hustler films.

My Review: 

Margaret isn’t doing great. Down on her luck, homeless and not exactly setting the world on fire, she’s just about making ends meet by selling sex to women. We open with a couple of frankly hilarious sexual anecdotes starring our protagonist which quickly made me realise I was in for an absolute treat.

Rebels
Rebels

One evening, after swapping sex for a Talbots gift card, Margaret bumps into Jo on the door of an all night cafe and they become instant friends, wandering the city together and sometimes sleeping on the bathroom floor of the Port Authority.

Jo decides that Margaret needs some sort of guidance in the hooking stakes, not a pimp type situation, more of an advocate to fight her corner. She imparts her lofty experience on Margaret and they find themselves in several sexual scenarios that frankly will have you chuckling like your life depends on it (if you like bad sex stories, which I BLOODY DO).

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“Do you have one that looks like the heart eyes emoji?”

Along the way, the two BFFs decide to go and find Margaret’s mum but don’t get that far. They do wind up in a graveyard checking that none of the headstones belong to her though. Here they meet Ray Ploshansky from Girls or “The Mumbling Erotic Accessory Salesman” who tries to sell them merkins. It is here that the single most perfect line of the film is uttered and I’m torn about whether I should share it.

(Course I fucking will).

When Ray asks the girls what size merkin they’re looking for, Margaret mumbles that she has a plussize vagina. Loooolllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll.

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“I thought you said this was Jurassic World?”

I don’t want to spoil anyone’s enjoyment of this movie by giving all the little gems away, but let’s just say, under Jo’s tutelage, Margaret enjoys an unconventional cinema date, shares a bizarre evening with two homophobic lesbians (Accounts Payable/Accounts Receivable) and meets a very kinky Republican.

The latter is the source of some of the movie’s best scenes, though they grow increasingly uncomfortable as they play out. Kinky Republican Lady, you see, is into having her date busted by the cops, preferably naked (yeah, who isn’t, right?).

“I sometimes also like to pretend to be a squirrel, is that cool?”

It takes a nasty incident involving the shooting of Ms. Republican’s maid for Margaret to work out that these scenarios are a set up and that Jo may have been in on it from the get go. Which Margaret ain’t happy about, given that she thought it was all real. This causes a few ripples between the ladies which don’t last long, though there may be a bigger fish to fry coming up on the horizon.

I might park this review here because there isn’t much more to say without giving the ending away. The girls travel further on their road trip and things change. But, could there be a happy ending for both women?

Oh sorry, did I forget to announce the Questions section? 

Will Margaret get the girl? And if so, which girl? Will she ever move out of the Port Authority? What’s the big deal with Talbots, is it the American version of Debenhams?

Should I give it all up and become a lesbian hooker? Especially if it means cinema in the day time. All these questions and more will be answered.

“At least I’m wearing my best socks, I guess.”

My Thoughts:

My first thought as the credits rolled was: The fuck did I just watch?! That feeling hasn’t faded but I know I enjoyed every minute.

Marry me, Margaret
Marry me, Margaret

Lisa Haas is a real diamond and I’d like to see her exercise her acting chops in other movies. Her gentle, mumbling turn in this lends her a special vulnerability and that makes you root for her. I’m all about the Underdog and Margaret is the adorable poster-girl.

Jo, in contrast, has a hardness that would no doubt serve her well on the streets. They make a good pair. Jackie Monahan reminds me of Connie Britton in some lights and that can only be a good thing.

There’s not much more to say other than this is a gloriously bizarre, touching-in-places, hilaire-in-others buddy movie. With a happy ending? (Watch it and see).

I’d like to see more from Olnek, much more from Haas, and I’m not even kidding, maybe I need me one of those merkins too, because why not shake things up a bit, eh?

My Rating: 4/5 – definitely recommend!

What did Gillian think? Well wonder no more right here.

Boy Meets Girl (Film) Review

Another week, another Netflix gem and this time it’s a movie that’s been gathering dust on My List  for some time.

bmg key artI think I subconsciously saved this film for a reason and that reason is our LGBT stretch of movies, which have swung from foreign to American (and may well swing back, who knows).

This film tackles the subject of transgender, being trans in a small town, coming-of-age and good old-fashioned love; and… well, you can wait to the end to find out what I thought.

As always *Spoilers*

Boy Meets Girl (2014)

Director: Eric Schaeffer
Stars: Michael Galante, Michelle Hendley, Jean Devereux Koester

IMDB Synopsis: Boy Meets Girl is a funny, tender, sex positive romantic comedy that explores what it means to be a real man or woman, and how important it is to live a courageous life not letting fear stand in the way of going after your dreams.

My Review:

I started off this film thinking “WTF”, perhaps because to the untrained eye it feels a little unrefined. The acting took a little bit of time to ‘settle’ and that’s probably because I’m a critical bitch.

The opening scene is a little precocious but then there was a flashback scene soon after involving a flasher and that made me laugh out loud for a solid minute. After that I was 100% in; and madly in love with the character of Ricky.

We begin in the world’s quietest coffee shop where our heroine Ricky is chatting to her BFF Robby. They’re talking about the opposite sex and Ricky is bemoaning her lack of luck with men. She then ponders whether she should try women for a change and – would you know it – right on cue in walks beautiful Francesca.

There’s an instant spark between Ricky and Francesca, with some healthy bants flowing between them. However, Fran seems a little less street smart, and maybe a little baffled at the easy way in which Ricky riffs off her. Fran’s engaged to a soldier serving time in Afghanistan and comes from a rich family, so maybe lives in a small town bubble, though she doesn’t know Ricky or Robby from their childhood days, so she might be fairly new in town (I don’t know).

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“The fuck did you just say?”

Robby encourages Ricky to come clean about who she is to Francesca. Ricky texts her while they’re sitting beside one another at the lake and Francesca is curious more than anything if a little gobsmacked at how feminine Ricky is.

I think this character is quite a good tool to be honest. Through her you get answers to the questions you might have about Ricky. Sure, it doesn’t go into much detail but we learn where Ricky is in terms of her transition, her thoughts about her body as well as how she feels about her future. I think that’s great.

Anyway, as you’d expect, the girls become close. It turns out that Francesca’s fiancé knew Ricky back in school and is less than polite about her when they talk on Skype – the usual small town bullshit – yawn! This only pushes Fran closer to Ricky and one evening they sleep together. This is Ricky’s first time with a woman, but not Francesca’s, even though she’s pretending to everyone that she’s still a virgin. Conservative family, innit.

Prior to this ‘act’, Ricky pumps Robby for information on how women’s bodies work in the lead up to sex and he gets quite uncomfortable. But the scene is quite refreshingly direct and funny.

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Cheer up loves

Ricky is a would-be fashion designer (and blogger) and throughout the film is awaiting news from a school in New York, where she plans to move as soon as. Fran is excited about Ricky’s skills and Ricky makes her a dress for a big garden party her parents are throwing at their enormous property.

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“So glad I didn’t wear green.”

When Ricky drops off the beautiful white dress she’s made for Ricky, Fran invites her and Robby to the event. They reluctantly accept. Ricky is a big hit with Francesca’s family but – what’s this? – Mr Duval (daddy) has pulled a few strings and gets Fran’s fiancé, David posted locally so they don’t have to be apart anymore.

(I’m sorry, what? Really? Of course this is supposed to illustrate just how much sway Fran’s father has as a politician but I’m p. sure he wouldn’t be able to faff around with military postings willy nilly)?

Anywho, David is back and Fran’s pleased to see him. Ricky and Robby peg it out of there but not before David slings some mud and refuses to refer to her as a ‘she’. Fran stands her ground and so, luckily, does daddy, who shouts that he’ll dropkick David in the fucking nuts if he dares to tell his daughter who to hang with (to paraphrase). Go, daddy!

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“The fuck did she just say?”

Later on Mrs Duvall (mummy) comes to see Ricky at work (still quiet) and basically tells her that any fool can see that Ricky just ain’t that into Fran and if that’s the case then why not cut her loose so she can plan her wedding? At this point I’m a bit like – what she isn’t into Fran?! – then I remembered the synopsis which suggests a love triangle, so I got it again.

Mrs D’s parting shot is “Stop calling yourself transsexual because it ain’t ladylike – how about telling people you were born with a birth defect instead?” to which Ricky has a sassy retort that sends her packing. I’m not entirely sure how that sounds better, but never mind, eh?

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“Thanks, I made it myself.”

Oh, one big thing I’ve failed to mention is that Ricky is haunted by the fact (she believes) her mother never really accepted her for who she is and as a result, left the family. Ricky’s father is bloody lovely and tells her all the time that this isn’t true but she can’t shake it. Her younger brother is an absolute don as well, and they’re obviously incredibly supportive and loving, and that’s enough to turn even the coldest heart to mush.

David confronts Ricky about Francesca and it turns out that they have far more history than we’d expected. David is all shades of messed up in his attitude but now at least we understand (but in no way condone) his dickish behaviour.

I’ll leave this here because it does have a nice conclusion and it’s a good film. You’ll maybe change your opinion on some of the characters by the end, maybe think about your own experiences within past relationships. It’s a romantic comedy and of course, I’ve mentioned a love triangle, can you see where this is going?

Before I give you my rating, how about a few questions?

Questions, questions, questions! Who, if not Francesca, is Ricky into? Does this person reciprocate? Will Ricky ever let the memory of her mother not accepting her go?

Will Ricky get into fashion school? Will David ever drop the fucking douche bag act? And perhaps most importantly, how come I don’t look as good as Ricky in braids?

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“Did someone say ‘love triangle’?”

My Thoughts:

This is a good movie. It’s sassy with a strong lead who isn’t afraid to curse and quip. Basically the best kind of main character. As mentioned above, it is a positive film without too much bad stuff.

I mean, Ricky lives with guilt, as she believes she pushed her mother away, so she has had her fair share of heartache. There is a touching scene in which an eight-year-old YouTube video featuring a young Ricky is posted publicly for all the world to see (a bit of a cheesy sequence, tbh- but I liked it). Though maybe I’m wrong, maybe burly bikers do watch teenagers’ vlogs on the side of the road with glee?

However, it seems Ricky was quite lucky throughout school. Not only to have had a supportive network but that she had the courage to face her tormentors head on. I know not all trans kids and adults are as lucky and for every positive story like this one, there is one with an unhappier ending.

But I liked it. Michelle Hendley is great, really luminous on-screen and really likeable. The ending is super sweet and super romantic, that’s all I’ll say!

My Rating: 4/5 – I liked it a lot. I’d definitely like to see Ricky again. Perhaps a sequel following her into her career in the fashion industry?

Hmmm, so what did my Blog Wife, Jillian think? Find out here.