Love & Marriage

(Technically I failed to post yesterday. If I hadn’t been at a birthday party, you would have got the below).

You can have two posts today instead.

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Image via Unsplash

I’m writing this on the train to Kent and am wondering how today’s topic popped into my head.

Then I remember I’m feeling a little sappy as I’m carried further and further away from my one true love. A night apart is nothing of course but next week we’ll be separated from Monday to Thursday while he’s in Ireland ‘on business’ and that’s harder to take.

(He is actually on business so I’m not sure why I used the inverted commas. Are they even inverted commas? What’s an inverted comma again?) 😱

I’m trying to not be a baby about my alone time. I’m making plans and not just hibernating in my pants. I’m actually loving the feeling of not having to accommodate someone else for a while but I miss having someone to go home to, and the hot body beside me.

(Another aside, whenever I deign to write anything positive about my marriage on Facebook I get the ‘Smug married’ comments and it drives me nuts. So if you think I sound smug, that’s your problem. Believe me I’ve done enough time to now be allowed to wax lyrical about how lucky I am, sue me).

I love being married. I never thought I would get married to anyone. There was never a picture of a white dress, a ring or a handsome man in my mind’s eye.

We discussed the idea of it in my last relationship which is inevitable I suppose after six years together. The feeling was very much that I wanted it (although raising the question of whether we should is very different to actually wanting it) and he would one day reluctantly go through with it, if I was good.

(He was a fucking dick head).

He’d been married before and was very down on the whole institution of marriage, as if he’d only just escaped the confines of an actual institution. Having met his lovely ex-wife (and remained on great terms), it was hard to see why he was so hard done by but there it is. I hated the way he spoke about marriage and knew I would never do it with him. Who needed to be spoken about the way he spoke about his ex? No thank you very much.

My meander towards happiness changed course thank fuck and lead me to be sitting in this seat on this train, looking back on my former views on marriage vs. my reality.

I married my favourite person in the world and it’s been so much fun. We don’t have a flashy life but I love it, I’d recommend it to anyone if that’s what they want to do. And this guy is proud to be my husband, honestly he’ll tell anyone.

I love belonging to someone else, being someone’s old woman. I am mine but it’s nice to know there’s another human being invested in me, hopefully for life. It feels nice and makes me feel strong.

I thought that was worth paying tribute to today.

How YOU doing? ❤

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Bah Bye 2014!

tumblr_nhdfojHJg01tsfm3lo1_1280Well well well, here we are on the cusp of a brand new year and it feels like we were standing here not so long ago, doesn’t it? Where did 2014 go?

That said, quite a lot of shit has gone down and even as I ponder how speedily those months have flown by, I know it has felt like a full year.

The obligatory recap (and you will have to forgive me for a rather long and self indulgent post):

It’s hard to believe that A Voluptuous Mind has only been in existence since March. Before that I wore a few monikers, including The Meet Cute and Groupie for the Underdog.

Looking back on my blog is how I know what I did, what my mental states were throughout and what I have achieved.

I started my current job role in February after what felt like an epic battle to get it. I went up against my (now) good friend and in the end won it based on my writing ability. To me a great victory, even if it appears small to others.

It’s been a huge learning curve, stepping up from the bottom (where all good employees begin) into Head Office and having to adapt accordingly. For the most part I am happy and doing well, with a few frustrations that don’t seem important now. I’m doing okay work wise. Whether I will ever have a career based on what I do now is another matter, but is something to have a think about.

What my job has given me is a handful of really brilliant friendships and for that how could I ever be mad? I’ve been touched by the love I have received from three of my now closest friends and feel like a stronger person for each one of them. I’ve been inspired to get off my ample arse and move, in the best possible way – to think about what I want from life, who I want to share it with and invest in.

These women are a million light years away from the unhealthy friendships I have put up with in the past and that’s just magical really.

Among the hair brained schemes I had at the beginning of 2014 were: singing lessons, hula hooping and running. Only one of those stuck to be honest, but hey, that’s better than nothing. I also tried my hand at reviewing a few movies and books, which is something I would like to take into the new year.

I plan to have my nose stuck in a book as much as possible next year, rather than on my phone or whiling the hours away on Candy Crush Soda (which has not real merit at all). Ditto Netflix.

Continue reading “Bah Bye 2014!”

A (Short) Ode to Marriage

I never thought I’d get married.

It had been mentioned in my previous relationship, in the most negative terms imaginable and when I did allow myself to envisage being legally bound to the person I was with then, I felt physically ill.

Worse, I imagined running screeching from the room into the path of a double decker bus, anything to avoid a lifetime of being controlled and belittled.

To illustrate this, I attended several weddings over the course of that debacle ‘relationship’ and left all of them indecently early after having a panic attack in the ladies and being violently sick.

I write this because today is my third year anniversary. I did fall in love with the right person and we got married.

I pondered this post for a while. First it was going to be about what marriage means to me. Then it was going to be an open love letter to my husband, inspired by the one written by Jacqueline Kennedy (not the greatest omen, perhaps) but everything I typed just seemed a little too schmaltzy and a bit forced.

Then I got over myself and realised that schmaltzy is my friend,so here’s my highly sentimental I ♥ My Husband collage:

PicMonkey Collage (1)Happy anniversary Glynn, you annoying, beautiful pain in my arse. I love you more than anything in the world and plan to do that forever.

(We need to get a new pose).