Sun Bores

If there’s one thing worst than melting in the middle of a Great British heatwave, it is having to deal with all the people with Opinions™. If it’s not being bitchy about what people should wear (whether they be too fat, too thin, too pale, too leathery, too made up), it’s what they choose to do to keep cool. Honestly, can you just fuck off?

You might love the beach but some people are ginger and that means practically vampyric. Does the sunlight really seem like a good idea to you? Also, the beach is deathly boring and I’d rather be under a tree in the park or even better, at home on my bed under a fan wearing nothing but a smile – that’s how I deal with my Summer.

If I have to go out I’ll seek out the shade and I’ll wear what I want thankyouverymuch. If my eyeliner runs, that’s my business. If I want to go to the cinema in the middle of a scorching day, I will. If I want to wear black, guess what? Black it is.

Bellies out, arms out, ten Twister lollies in a day, shade, no shade, indoors, outdoors: whatever it is, it is.

The thing is, this heat is not typical for us, none of our houses are equipped to deal with these temperatures and we need unsolicited advice from others like a hole in the fucking head. We should be doing anything we can to get comfortable.

So this year, if you feel like sharing your thoughts on how others are doing Summer: just don’t.

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Drag Race Season 10: Everybody Say Love

Anyone else got feelings about this last season of Ru Paul’s Drag Race? Yeah me neither.

Except! It’s been a bit of a roller coaster, hasn’t it? Explosive arguments, dubious ejections (imho), conversations about race, gay conversion therapy, more rows, tears and above all fierce as fuck looks across the board.

*Spoilers*

And now we have our Queen and I’m not that sad about it. Sure, Aquaria is young, thin and white with a privilege not all contestants can claim themselves but she’s been open and conscious of that – and she has werked her arse off consistently to the end. Man, her looks time after time have been rich and powerful, with a mind-blowing attention to detail.

Aquaria is super young but she’s incredible – can you even imagine what more time and experience will make of her? That said, I was sort of counting on Kameron Michaels for his incredible lip syncing talent. Plus, I kind of like the concept of a quiet queen smashing the competition.

In some way I was also rooting for Eureka, the big girl who has also been an incredibly strong contender. The only downside is that Eureka isn’t completely likable and at times I feel she isn’t genuine. Shock horror someone might be playing up the cameras, right? But I sometimes get a disingenuous vibe and it puts me off. I guess we’ll have to wait for a fat queen to boast the crown in the future, then.

If I’m completely honest, I wasn’t that fussed about who won this season, they were all deserving in their own ways – and Season 10 despite its drama wasn’t as exciting as past seasons. Which is a shame because there were some queens with real potential in the line up – Miz Cracker, Monét X Change to name a couple – I was seriously pissed when Miz Cracker was booted out but then again she didn’t always nail the performance she was going for.

I don’t know, really none of them had the spark I saw in Detox, Adore Delano or precious Kim Chi – and that’s okay. We’ve all got our favourites. That said there were some stand out elements and here are a few of my highlights:

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All of Aquaria’s high fashion looks

It’s hard to pick a favourite because they all bang but I would say that the bone mask, the rainbow fur, the wrestler look and Aquaria’s oil slicked mermaid were my favourites.

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Dill With It

In episode 5 Miz Cracker dressed up as Dr. Dill, a giant pickle to help cure Mayhem Miller’s picklephobia on the “Bossy Rossy Show”. It was sublime with perfect comic timing and in my eyes marked Cracker out as a real contender.

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Butterfly-gate

The finale was fun and all but lovely Asia O’Hara really missed the mark with her dubious bra contraption. During the final lip sync for their life, she opened it out to release real butterflies into the open air. I’m not sure who green-lit an idea this dodgy but let’s just say it did not have the expected wow factor and many, many butterflies were crunched under foot by our queens. There’s a great reaction shot of Kameron processing what has just happened.

Oh, but apparently Asia donated a lot of money to a butterfly charity to make up for the faux pas, which is kind of cool, if a little too late.

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The Reunion

Oooh gurl, the dramas! The Vixen stormed off set, Ru got shouty and Asia O’Hara went way up in my estimation when she showed really empathy for her sister (Vixen) – it was all popping off.

When Ru asked The Vixen and Eureka to open up about their dramatic fighting during the season, all hell broke loose, with The Vixen pondering why she was always been told how to react, while nobody got on Eureka’s case for the way she was acting. Which is a valid point. I’ve read a bit of backlash against the way Vixen has been portrayed and I’m inclined to agree. Asia’s call to help Vix rather than apportion blame fell on mostly deaf ears but she was pretty much the only person to speak up in her favour, and I loved her for it.

Oh, and lots of queens called Kameron out for being a snooty bitch. She did not like that one bit. LOL.

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Mermaid Power

This was so relevant to my own interests because I was obsessed with mermaids as a kid – and none of the queens really let me down. Aquaria took hers to the next level but I also really enjoyed Kameron and Miz Cracker’s more girly traditional takes. Asian O’Hara’s fish face was also hysterical.

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Twinning

Episode 11’s Double Trouble challenge was super fun and I can’t deny I was very partial to Eureka’s Divine/Clueless inspired double header.

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Miss Vanjie!

The undeniable real winner of the entire season.

~

You?

Democracy

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Preach it, Dumbledore!

A big day in the UK today and one I feel quite sick about. For anyone reading outside the UK who doesn’t keep up with our politics, we’re voting on the EU Referendum – whether to leave or remain in the European Union.

I cast my vote early this morning and I’ll admit to feeling quite overwhelmed by the whole thing (and I was all on my lonesome too, what a big brave girl). It’s such a massive decision to make about something that honestly, nobody really seems 100% about. I have a view and have voted accordingly but who can say that it’s the right way?

Who can be sure that we’re not doomed if we stay in the EU? Is breaking off to be on our own the beginning of the end or is Boris right? Only time will tell now, which way the vote will go for a start and then what will happen to this country. It’s terrifying and all I really know is that all the hatred and the sniping has got to stop.

Sure this has opened my eyes to a lot of attitudes I’m surprised by but I’m done with people bitching at each other and threatening to stop being friends on social media (the ultimate dis) for not voting the way people want them to. I can barely make this decision myself, how can I tell someone else who to vote for?

I know this post is incredibly diplomatic but I’m just tired of all the hate talk. I’ve voted remain and strongly believe we should stay, that we’re stronger in the EU and should help others where we can. I know it’s not perfect and that there’s lots of work to do to make things better but I have an innate hope that we can do that.

I can’t get behind a campaign backed so strongly by Nigel Farage either, I’m sorry. And I know that Brexit supporters are getting a bad rap for being racists, which not all of them can be but it’s true that most racists are going to vote leave. I’m not here for that.

I’m not going to say everything is shit and I don’t care anymore. I will never do that. I love the country I live in, I love the fact I can work and travel around Europe as much as I like. I love that (if things remain) I could legitimately retire to a houseboat in Amsterdam and live out the rest of my life skipping around the canals in clogs.

All I can do now is keeping on hoping that remain wins the day. Results will be in tomorrow morning, so this time tomorrow afternoon we’ll know.

I think I might puke! ❤

Casual Fat Phobia

tumblr_n0we6pICYS1s36ymko3_1280I’ve recently decided, whenever someone I know on social media makes a casual fat phobic comment, I am going to casually ‘unfollow’.

No words, no rage; just a simple click or two of that sweet, sweet button and I’ll be on my way.

I can’t take it anymore. Sure, these people have every right to an opinion but don’t they realise what they’re saying? Fat people shouldn’t be the butt of every joke; the ultimate cautionary tale.

You like food but are so lucky to have your mother’s metabolism, otherwise you’d be 15 stone? The horror. Being slim might be what you strive to be and to maintain, but it isn’t every person’s goal. Some people look different and are different – and insinuating that an overweight person is awful and ugly and undesirable is frankly, bullshit.

Some people weigh 15 stone, or more. Are they lesser creatures, placed on this earth to sneer at; to think “Thank God I don’t look like that.”? Posting pictures of ‘fatties’ too, well that’s just a waste of everyone’s time. Honestly? Look inside yourself.

What about the “I’m such a heffer!” girls? I’m more inclined to say that if they want to beat themselves up all day about how fat and disgusting they are then let them knock themselves out.

Body image is a tricky one because they might well genuinely loathe themselves and that’s their perogative, just because I see a perfect 10 doesn’t mean they do. But in saying “I’m so fat!” and pinching imaginary rolls, it can become a bone of contention. If you’re saying that about yourself, what the hell does that make me?

But back to the first type. Shame on you for shaming others, shame on you for your casual discrimination. Shame we can’t be friends anymore.

(Not).

NB: I do get it, phobia of this kind has been drummed into us as women, as soon as we were old enough to understand it, maybe even before that. We’re beaten about the head hundreds of times a day by a beauty ideal that isn’t realistic. We’ve grown up being told we should strive to look a certain way. I’ve not always been so cool with myself, some days I’m still not and I haven’t always been as supportive of other women, ‘different’ women. I’m not proud of that but I am proud I now have strong enough self-esteem to address it. We’re all on the same side and we should be all about building each other up, nothing less.

Simple, innit?

Naked

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Frankly I felt the cover needed just one addition

This week Kim Kardashian West attempted to #breaktheinternet with the release of some rather grand photographs of her butt.

Shot by Jean-Paul Goude for Paper magazine, the cover (right) pays homage to her famous derriere. Dig a little deeper (as if you’re not interested) and you will witness Kiki ‘re-imagining’ Goude’s best known image “Caroline Beaumont, New York, 1976“.

The Internet seems to still be in tact, just about, but what of all the minds blown by the photographs themselves? People are amused, shocked, disgusted, outraged, curious, excited and royally pissed off by the images.

Kimmy has been the butt (pun intended) of many jokey tributes (including some frankly creepy/unflattering ones) and criticised all over the shop for being a bad feminist, a bad mother and yet again a talent-less, plastic nobody. So far I believe she has turned the other cheek (!!) and I hope that she continues to do so.

NB: Kim did tweet this following release of the pictures:

Who says she isn't self-aware?
Who says she isn’t self-aware?

What has all those knickers in a twist really, though? Is it the nudity, or the apparent Photoshopping? Is it the ‘pointlessness’ of it all? Or is it just that it’s Kim having the audacity to celebrate how bloody hot she is?

I know it’s a broad topic and one that has so many arguments but this post is really about butt appreciation from my point of view, so I shall take it from here, guys.

(And a bit of KK appreciation, if I’m honest. Another Proud Pleasure).

Click on image to enlarge
Click on image to enlarge

Kimmy, in general, to me is something special. I know where she began, what she has done (who doesn’t? She’s kindly documented almost every aspect of her life for us). I know that technically she doesn’t have a ‘talent’ (singer/baker/candlestick maker), but what if her talent is having a work ethic that would make a mere mortal weep?

What if her super power is having the ability to continually pick herself up, dust herself off and turn all her mistakes into gold? Those are talents I can get behind.

I like Kim, love Keeping Up with The Kardashians and I like Kim’s body too. She looks sensational almost all the time and she’s banging, dammit.

I’m not into body shaming, all bodies types are fine with me and I appreciate the female form as much as the next person. I love seeing curvy women celebrating their curvaceousness as much as I like seeing svelte women representing my favourite designers on the catwalk.

Personally, I don’t have anything against the use of thin women to promote anything as long as there is a visible alternative. How heavenly it would be to see those alternatives in the mainstream, and not just as an afterthought. But that’s a whole other topic for another time.

I’m voluptuous and trying to be proud of that. I’m unlikely to ever be quite as banging as Mrs West (shocker), but as a short woman with a small waist and a big old booty, she is closer to my body type any day than the Keira Knightleys of this world (love her). So why not be happy to see that in all its glory? I sure as shit am!

In another shot within Kim’s issue of Paper, we get to see her full frontal. No, I don’t really see the big deal. It’s just a pair of (great) boobs and very smooth private parts (a fitting tribute to the work of her waxer). She is young and looks amazing. Her pose is playful and proud, not even particularly sexual.

Cheeky ;p
Cheeky ;p

But she’s a mother, say some? Heaven forbid that she teach North to be proud of her body as she grows up. That would be awful. North will see these images one day and you know what? By then Kim will have had the talk with her that explains some of the decisions that she made, that have made her who she is today.

Trust me, North is going to have a more complex time wrapping her head around the cult of celebrity, reality television, Daddy Kanye and the Kardashian Family en masse. Nakedness and an infamous bum are going to be the least of it.

Yes, this is a simplistic view. Yes, the photographs look heavily Photoshopped, thus giving us mere mortals yet another unrealistic ideal to aim toward. We’ve long known that pretty much every cover, every photograph we see in fashion magazines has had the same work. It’s part and parcel of the fashion industry and will hopefully change one day.

Had Kim stood up there in all her natural, oiled goodness with her butt at an angle to emphasise its ripeness would she still have got it in the neck?

But, of course.

Thoughts? Can you add to this conversation?

None of the photographs within this post belong to me.