Minimalism?

I’ve had an epiphany.

Last night I was talking to my new cool work friend Chloe about her beautiful Instagram feed (how modern!) and I asked her how the background in all her photographs is always so appealing. Like my background always has gerbils and shoes and old cups of tea lying around – how does one create the perfect pure light and airy landscape?

Just fucking tidy up, I would imagine but she said something that has really stuck (in theory anyway).

She said she prefers to own fewer things that she really really loves, rather than have loads of stuff she’s indifferent to. Simple, eh? Makes sense, right?

This is where I’ve been going wrong all this time: STUFF! I’m literally drowning in things and stuff – and something has got to give. This thinking is quite relateable. When my grandmother was preparing to leave this plain (like for real, she had enough and so she just went one day), she started clearing out her apartment, urging family and friends to give her books and pleasant smelling products instead of things.

She didn’t have 77 pairs of shoes or handbags, she didn’t have six denim jackets and a collection of plastic hair clips from the 90’s. She was free of tat and I think I’m ready for this phase in my life.

I want to be truly passionate about the things that surround me. The people, the environment, the things – clothing and jewellery aside (hey I have to express myself, man!), I don’t need all this shit.

I can read books and pass them on. I don’t need to keep old make-up just in case. I don’t need the quick fixes or the cheer-me-up treats. I should save my money for good haircuts and tattoos. Savings. Plastic surgery.

So that’s what I’m going to do now. Level 40 is just round the corner, and I’m going in with a new attitude. If it doesn’t make me truly happy, it can kiss my lily-white behind.

Now where did I put the bin bags?

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What’s going on with you?

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What I’m Digging: My Internet Wish List (with a Valentine’s Twist)

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Fashion illustration by Garance Doré

It’s January payday today and boy has it seemed like a lifetime away.

But now it’s here, of course my eyes are on things I can purchase to make my life infinitely better (relax, this is mainly a fantasy thing, my credit card is staying firmly in my wallet for now).

(Mostly).

The bulk of my dream items are from ASOS as is the norm but I’ve tried to branch out a little bit. While I was thinking about this post I kept stumbling across a lot of Valentine’s themed gifts so I’ve incorporated some of those for shits ‘n’ gigs, even though it’s not one of my favourite ‘holidays’.

Still, maybe a secret admirer will click on a couple of these links. You just never know. But to the goodies – what’s floating my boat during these difficult (and wet months)?

Sweet Treats (under £10)

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ASOS NO YOU DIDN’T Valentine’s Pom Slippers, ASOS £10 – Comfy and super cute!
The Smiths T-shirt, various sites (around £10) – Hilarious (my example is actually £12.50 from Etsy, but you can shop around for a better deal)
Paperchase Male Torso Cocktail Jar, ASOS £6 – A touching tribute to the male form, and handy too. Especially when you’re trying to drink more water…
Paperchase Valentine’s Lips Money Box, ASOS £6 – For saving pennies to buy all this toot

Think About It Splurges (under £25)

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Hattori Hanzo Ladies Regular Black T-shirt, Last Exit to Nowhere £20 (although I had a discount code to save 15% in January) – I can’t gush about LETN enough and buy something from them every year for my beloved. This month it’s my turn, and what better way to start the love affair than with a tribute to my favourite film? – BOUGHT IT!
Suzywan Sweet PomPom Hoop Earrings, ASOS £15 – Lush! I do love a PomPom – BOUGHT THEM!
Woven Tapered Peg Leg Trouser in Mono Stripe Print, ASOS Curve £25 – Smart and funky (like me?)
Brunch Club Sleep Tee, ASOS Curve £18 – I’ve had my eye on this lounging lovely for weeks now… lounge wear is the greatest – BOUGHT IT!

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Blair Sweatshirt, Rad £29.90 – Gossip Girl was and is one of my favourite things of all time, as is Blair Waldorf so what better way to represent? Plus: cosy
Plus Size Velvet Ribbed Midi Dress, Missguided Plus £30 – So very pretty
Adidas Originals Pharrell Williams X Todd James Superstar Trainers, ASOS £59.50 – for smashing it at the gym in style. (Honestly though, probably too nice to wear on the treadmill)
Skinnydip ‘Girls’ Heart Across Body Bag, ASOS £28 – possibly my favourite thing on this page – BOUGHT IT!

So that’s me and what’s caught my eye recently online – and yes, I lied above. I’ve already purchased a few of these beauties because I’m totally worth it obviously.

What’re you eyeing? ❤

Why I’ll Never Have Money

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I’ve taken steps to stop myself shopping. Removing my card details from all my favourite websites, hiding my credit card in my knicker drawer, that sort of thing. It’s was going okay, except for April and May being the most annoyingly expensive months.

I can’t deny that it’s hard. I like stuff alright? Sue me!

But despite all this, I know my life is a world away from how it was six years ago, when I hated it, wished something would intervene and take me out of it. I hated the man I lived with, was indifferent to the places we visited together (even though some were beautiful) and I despised wherever we were calling ‘home’ during that whole sorry period.

When life was not just lacklustre but unbearable, I would shop because that small high I experienced whenever something new arrived in my possession reminded me to feel something, however fleeting.

Like I said, a world away from now. My backbone is now fully intact and I would never allow myself to be brought down like that again, never ever. I was a victim of an abusive relationship and he never laid a finger on me, it’s that simple.

Now I shop in a much less frenzied fashion and buy things I love. Not to fill a gaping void that will never be full. I buy things to make me look awesome and dress for myself first, everyone else second.

I would be lying if I said I didn’t also want my husband to take a good long look at me and think “Dayum”.

All this said, I have started to see my debts get a teeny bit smaller and a particularly large one that hangs over me is starting to shrink. I’m by no means out of the woods but I can see a light there, waiting for me at the end of the tunnel. I’ll take it.

And poor or not, I’m in love with my life now and that’s so much better than all the stuff in China. Or anywhere.